I have a complex relationship with beauty. Not in a million years would I have thought my uncomfortable feelings about clothing, style, makeup, and being seen and adored were related to the thread I’m about to explore with you.

But, looking back, I see it. In pulling on this thread, I realised once again that self-reflection is the most important work we can do, and we have no idea where or how powerfully it will lead us.

It all started with an astrological tarot reading. I booked this appointment because I felt like a little lost lamb. I was constantly struggling against the grain and had zero idea who I was, what I wanted, or where I was going. I felt like I’d woken up in someone else’s life and was trying to work out the next step (having a child often does that to you).

The tarot cards, combined with the stars, pinpointed my lack of self-compassion as the roadblock of all roadblocks in my life. 🚧

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I pride myself on being an outwardly kind and compassionate human. But the judgements about myself in my head? If I were to voice them out loud, you might grab a straight jacket and bundle me up for a little drive to the closest asylum. You may even think they were from Lucifer himself.

How do I know this? Well, over the years, I have voiced some of these comments aloud, and the way my husband looks at me tells me everything I need to know about how true they are and how strong my programming is. At times, I’ve stared blankly back and asked him outright, “Don’t you believe that?” And he’ll respond in a way that lets me know he certainly doesn’t.

When I realised this and enquired into these thoughts, I knew they were off-base. But that didn’t stop them from ruling my life, crushing my self-worth, and ultimately grinding my business to a halt because judgment, imposter syndrome, and paralysis told me, “Who was I to X, Y, or Z?”

After this very revealing reading, my tarot reader, also an astrologer, transpersonal psychologist, Taoist and my close friend, Francis, prescribed daily self-compassion meditation and being much kinder to myself.

I started reading Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion and exploring why I was compassionate to others and contemptuous towards myself. Neff’s book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, taught me that:

“If you are continually judging and criticizing yourself while trying to be kind to others, you are drawing artificial boundaries and distinctions that only lead to feelings of separation and isolation. This is the opposite of oneness, interconnection, and universal love—the ultimate goal of most spiritual paths, no matter which tradition.”

Finally, I started to take notice. I hadn’t realised that by loathing myself, I wasn’t just hurting myself; I was hurting others, too. But when I did, it was my catalyst for change.

I wanted to know, how did I cultivate such a nasty inner voice? When I read Neff saying, “The disparaging running commentary they hear inside their own head is often a reflection of parental voices—sometimes passed down and replicated throughout generations”, that was my next crumb on Hansel and Gretel’s path to self-love.

Realising that the critical voices in my mind weren’t truly mine was a big wake-up call. I began to unmask their personalities and found my Nan and her daughter, my mother, living in my mind, sharing their thoughts about me with me as I grew up. It was overwhelmingly them who I heard when I looked in the mirror to criticise myself. 🪞

As I pulled on this thread of self-contempt (it was much more than a “lack of self-compassion”), I sat up in bed at night devouring books to help me understand how to extricate them from my head.

This was—and continues to be—one of the most profound, yet shameful periods of my life. I found myself paralysed in a paradox. I felt immense guilt even picking up a book that hinted that my parents may have flaws. Because raising children is HARD, and I knew they did their very best. And I also know their parents had flaws, too. As did their parents. And theirs…

I ruminated on: “But it’s not their fault” versus “But I need to shift this programming” for months—years even. But, as Michael Tsarion says in his brilliant book, Dragon Mother (yep, there’s another title that invoked more shame):

I had many late-night, emotional conversations with Brendan about the guilt and shame I felt in working with this issue. In our society, a woman’s relationship with her mother is a sacred cow. It’s off-limits and not supposed to be questioned, but I had to go there and heal it somehow. I set out—and continue—to look at my experience from a daughter’s perspective, rather than demonise my mother’s actions or experiences.

Exploring this openly in a public environment—like I am now—amplified my fear. But I felt if I could help even one woman feel like she wasn’t alone, that it was necessary to do so.

Katherine Fabrizio helped me realise that feeling guilty doesn’t necessarily make you guilty.

Shame thrives in secrecy but heals when it is brought into the light of day. Where there’s no more secret, shame dissolves. Finding a community of others who are struggling with the same thing, whatever it may be, normalizes the struggle, helping to lift the stigma. When shame is countered with witnessing, validation, and empathy, it cannot survive.1

Alongside authors Lindsay Gibson, Karen C.L. Anderson, Kelly McDaniel and Ramani Durvasula, Katherine was instrumental in helping me pull on the deepest programming I’ve ever unwound. 🧶

I’d built my personality and life on a foundation of lies and untruths. I had to decide whether to build up the house of cards or bravely knock it down. And so, I found myself at a crossroads with two choices:

1. Keep loathing myself to remain loyal to my parents (and their generational line), or

2. Address this programming and choose to live my life.

I chose option two and I can’t express how hard it continues to be to choose to live my life. The more I chip away at the programming that haunts me, the more guilt and shame I unravel. All my life, I’ve been so motivated to walk on eggshells and take care of my mum that many times I didn’t even consider whether I wanted to do something. Every decision was about whether or not I should.2

She has done the same with her mother.

Somewhere along the line, we both made an unconscious agreement that we were responsible for our Mother’s emotional needs. But we are meant to stand separate, whole, on our two feet.

I was 39 years old when I realised my life was mine to live. That reality was shocking for me to process. It might sound crazy to you that I didn’t realise that—as it was for my husband, who was astounded I didn’t realise my life was my own. And, even still, it’s not easy to stop betraying myself by putting her needs before mine.

I’m still wracked with guilty thoughts. I constantly remind myself with love, “I may feel guilt, but I’m not guilty.” Katherine reminds me:

“You only know life with Mom in it, so you don’t fully trust that life will go on if you live more independently. And that leads to the “crazy” part. Since your relationship has been defined by your constant struggle to make Mom okay, you may, at the unconscious level, feel responsible for keeping your mother alive.”

This explains why I have crazy thoughts like, “What if she dies and it’s my fault? I could never forgive myself.” But, even in this, I’m not alone.

“Underneath every Good Daughter’s reluctance to change her relationship with her mother—whether she’s struggling to stand up for herself, cut off contact, or simply tell her mother something she knows Mom isn’t going to like—is one terrifying question: “What if I [fill in the blank] . . . and my mother DIES???”3

Now, as I was writing this, I took a lunch break and met my husband in the kitchen. I shared with him what I’m writing about and my deepest fear in doing so (written above). He once again looked at me—in that way—with disbelief from his clear, Mother-Wound-free place and said, “Of course it wouldn’t be your fault”.

While most people go through this process of becoming in their late teens or early twenties, extracting myself to become a human who is independent of her mother is the hardest hurdle I’ve faced.

But, as Katherine Fabrizio says, “When you are willing to face the short-term pain of disappointing your mother and asserting what you want or don’t want, you set the stage to make long-term change.”

When diving into my psyche and reprogramming my beliefs, I needed to infuse my being with different approaches, ideas, and methods to help me understand why I felt so lost, self-loathing, and impotent in my life. Kelly McDaniel was pivotal in diffusing the shame I felt and having me understand where my lack of self-compassion stems from. She warned me that in reading her book, Mother Hunger, that by reading it, I may vacillate between feeling angry with my mother and feeling like I’m betraying her.4

“As a child, if essential elements of maternal nurturance and protection were missing, you didn’t stop loving your mother—you simply didn’t learn to love yourself.”

And this is where I found myself. In a place where I couldn’t fully live my own life, for fear of hurting my mum. And at the same time in a place where I seemed to hurt her no matter what I did or said. It was a constant state of guilt.

As was Fabrizio, who told me, “Escaping the Guilt Trap means knowing with certainty that you can care about your mother without taking on her emotions as if they were your own. Full stop.”

So these are the seas that I’ve been navigating. They’re choppy. Filled with sharks. And deep, dark water with no end.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, how on earth does this all relate back to beauty? Without the context I now have, I might have said the same thing.

This article is getting a little longer than I’d planned, so next week, in part two, I’ll share how diving into my self-loathing and Mother Wound compelled me to pull on the next thread I pulled on, which was my acceptance—and later, rejection—of living an overwhelmed, overworked, and under joyed life.

My commitment to exploring the uncomfortable continues to reward me by making life richer. And I’m glad you’re alongside me diving into the deep waters of guilt, shame, and programming that holds many of us back.

Subscribe now to get Part Two of Reclaiming Beauty in your inbox…

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Footnotes

I share how an astrological tarot reading cracked open my understanding of self-compassion, how I began unravelling the inherited narratives that kept me small, and why pulling on this thread has been one of the hardest—and most important—things I’ve ever done.

Through the wisdom of authors like Kristin Neff, Katherine Fabrizio, and Kelly McDaniel, I explore the emotional weight of breaking cycles, the guilt that comes with stepping into autonomy, and the liberation found in choosing your life over inherited expectations. I talk about:

• How self-judgment keeps us trapped—and the importance of breaking free

• Understanding the mother wound and its effect on self-worth

• The guilt paradox: why choosing yourself feels so hard

This is Part One of Reclaiming Beauty, where I lay the foundation for a conversation that goes far beyond aesthetics. I hope it resonates, challenges, and, most of all, reminds you that you're not alone.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠⁠https://truthiverse.com⁠⁠) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff

• Good Daughter Syndrome by Katherine Fabrizio

• Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel

• Dragon Mother by Michael Tsarion

Join the conversation

What does reclaiming beauty mean to you? Let me know in the comments…

The holding of space, the loving of men.

The healing of rifts, the care of our young.

This is the feminine.

This archetype—so nurturing and giving, so soft, so knowing, and so welcoming, is the birthplace of all.

Our maternal line once celebrated their role as homemakers, child bearers, and wisdom-keepers. Yet here we are, a collective of women, failing to connect with and understand the true power that lies in embodying this archetype.

Instead, we embody and glorify the masculine—whilst simultaneously decrying its oppression of us.

We are erasing women from language and life. It’s politically incorrect to speak of the traditional gender roles that have served us immeasurably. Instead, it’s edgy to pretend gender is malleable, to question our biological sex in favour of choosing from a rainbow of letters.

It’s now also celebrated to hate men.

The rise of the modern feminist is disturbing in so many ways, not least of which is that it promotes a gender war, tries to equate genders in all aspects, and celebrates the destruction of the family unit whilst crying foul for rights and missed opportunities.

It promotes the under-mothering of children—with reliance on the State and the television—building upon our already disturbing understanding of the high societal cost of under-fathering. It ignores inconvenient truths that acknowledge that men are also oppressed in many ways, sometimes directly because of neofeminist campaigns. But most disturbingly, it strives for the masculinisation of women.

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Review these sentiments, said to be “Good Feminist Slogans and Taglines”:

• Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

• I think, therefore I’m single.

• Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

• Women’s chains have been forged by men, not by anatomy.

• A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

These are all nonsense, but this one nailed it:

• Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.

What might the effect be on raising girls with this programming?

You’ve likely heard all the feminist buzzwords: patriarchy, rape culture, micro-aggression, intersectionality, misogyny, mansplaining, man-boys, and social justice.

You may have been unfortunate to receive a feminist’s wrath, where everything you say is offensive, and reasoning is not up for discussion. No deviation from the narrative will be entertained, nor will criticism, other perspectives, or those who disagree.

Sadly, the neofeminist does not realise her membership is to a cult. Her dogmatic beliefs are part of a system of control that holds back the progression of consciousness and “equality”. Her devotion to these beliefs is especially dangerous to those who aren’t members of the feminist movement, hindering their lives, freedoms, and rights.

She’ll mention the oppressive nature of the Patriarchy whilst concurrently lobbying the State (aka Patriarchy) for her rights. Should not every feminist be an anarchist by default?

Men are bad, women are good—the us versus them mentality ensures no reason can be spoken, nor can change be made. Sameness in speech, behaviour, and character ensures no individual thoughts can enter the movement. All the while, the feminist fails to see that feminism isn’t feminine.

Her readiness to don the warrior’s armour, pick up a sword, and rush into battle to slay men, is the antithesis of the feminine archetype. These are male archetypal roles and symbols, which are used in war.

When women engage in discussing controversial and divisive topics where someone is consistently declaring how “offended” they are, they create a war-like atmosphere in conflict with the essence of the feminine.

When we tell them this, they’ll declare they have no duty to be feminine. The modern feminist does not subscribe to archetypes, roles, or cultural designations because she’s been socially engineered to question every aspect of her own identity and rebel against the norm—without knowing why she’s rebelling.

It’s a sinister way of shifting societal norms towards a place where everything that was once “normal” is now redefined—where historical narratives are blurred and can be invented. Or, as The Protocols of the Learner Elders of Zion instruct:

“We shall erase from the memory of men all facts of previous centuries which are undesirable to us…”

The subversion of cultural institutions has meant “almost the entire theoretical basis of all the politically correct aesthetic trends…now plague our universities.” All “experts” have been fed the same propaganda, and spew it forth to students, who then spread it to the world as fact. Henry Makow says, “As far as the humanities are concerned, universities are enemy territory and professors usually are obstacles to genuine learning.”

Thus, we are left with university-educated, mind-controlled women with certificates that deem them experts in “women’s studies”, “gender studies”, or the like. They cannot see that celebrating the “bad-ass” aggression of their sister, a term once used to describe the “epitome of the American male”; or when shaming a man for his refusal to squash his male anatomy whilst sitting on a train could be harmful to women and society in general.

From War To Wisdom

A neofeminist focuses on a life centred on self, rather than others, and the promotion of a male value system/archetype. Modern feminism stands against a value system that supports the feminine and the female, and thus community itself—since no real community can be born in a war zone. The underlying message is that to be equal to a man, a woman must become like a man.

In doing so, feminists deny themselves the most bountiful source of transformation available to them and the world. They also rob men of the opportunity to connect with the true feminine. Furthermore, they project the blame upon everyone else. Within the world of feminism, women will blame everyone—before taking responsibility for themselves.

The feminine is not simply about fulfilling traditional gender roles, it’s about embodying our true nature. This means exemplifying intuitive flow over reason, being over doing, feeling over thinking. It’s also about polarity.

Yes, we must embody parts of the masculine, but we must not be tricked into thinking our power comes from being masculine. The opposite is true. Sadly, feminists fail to recognise there is nothing more powerful than the true feminine.

The feminine IS power.

She is strength, humility, care, and creation. She has an innate capability to influence men, women and children for better or worse. And the longer it takes for women to realise this, our world will remain all the greyer.

An embodied woman doesn’t play the control game, nor invest in victimhood as a political tool. She understands she is one half of the human equation and honours the male polarity that is her complement. She leads by example and knows just by being that she is enough. From out of her womb comes life itself.

The feminine might ask the feminist: where is the sense in rebelling and warring against 50% of what emerges from our loins?

Why have we disowned ourselves?

Original Article Posted here: https://medium.com/@aimeedevlin/masculinising-the-goddess-d4640fa23ff0

NOTE: I wrote this article in 2017. At the time, all the links were intact. But when I updated it, I realised many links had since been removed from the internet. This is a prime example of the erasure of women and the censorship of any counterculture conversation around feminism. I’ve left these links intact so you can follow them and witness this reality yourself.

Aimee

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• How modern feminism has shifted focus, glorifying masculine traits while diminishing the essence of true femininity.

• The unintended consequences of rejecting traditional gender roles, family structures, and feminine archetypes.

• Why embodying the feminine is about embracing softness, humility, and intuitive flow—not victimhood or rebellion.

• The dangerous narratives of "us vs. them" and how they divide men and women, undermining connection and polarity.

• The power of the feminine to heal, nurture, and influence in ways that the modern feminist movement often overlooks.

This episode invites you to reflect on what it truly means to embody the feminine and how doing so can bring balance, strength, and transformation to your life and relationships.

Whether you're a mother, partner, or woman reconnecting with your inner wisdom, this episode will inspire you to reclaim the powerful essence of the feminine archetype.

If you’d prefer to read this episode, you can do so here.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠https://truthiverse.com⁠⁠) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

And it’s clearly aimed at people in their twenties, way younger and more hip than me. It made me think about how so many people seem to have a therapist these days. Therapists are dropped in conversation as though it’s as common to have one as it is a dog. There’s an ownership there that I feel curious about, which has piqued my attention to pull on more than once.

“MY therapist said X.”

“I’m going to check in with MY therapist to see what they say about Y.”

Now, let’s be clear, I’m not dissing having a therapist. I might not ever have had one, but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t believe they could help me iron out a thing or two. 😬

No, this article isn’t about therapists. It’s about what I think leaning on a therapist (or anyone else external to yourself) might mean, in the context of daily habits and the larger world.

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I’ve mentioned many times on My Mama Summer that I’d like to slow my life down. Simplicity and seasonality are the theme of the coming year/s for me, as I realise life is buzzing by and I don’t like the feeling that comes with not knowing how to stop it. Maybe I should see a therapist? (haha)

I’ve spent a decade in the entrepreneurial world taking on the advice of hustling men like Ed Mylett, who recommended I split my day into 3 days and work from 6am until midnight.

@townecrierJust stack your days dude! ⏳🥞📚 #stackingdays #edmylett #motivation #inspo #maxout #productivity#personaldevelopment #selfimprovement #motivation #inspiration #successmindset #goalsetting #dailymotivation #lifegoals #positivevibes #mindsetshift #grindmode #nevergiveup #hustlehard #makeithappen #believeinyourself#muffin #growthmindset #tcp #podcast #entrepreneur #business #manipulatingtime #time #nolan #film

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Or Robin Sharma, whose answer is joining an elite club of superbeings who rise at 5am every day.

“Win the morning and you win the day,” hounds Tim Ferriss.

Now, I’ve now entered a seemingly radical era for myself, which I’ve dubbed my Simplicity Era.

In this era, less is more.

My co-sleeping, boobie-drinking, always waking me in the night toddler and I much prefer this era to the hustle. Waking at 5am is NOT for me. I prefer the glorious days when my husband lets me sleep until 11.30am. Why isn’t that an elite club with a waitlist?

No, Ed. My goal in life isn’t to squeeze as much work out of the day as I can while my happiness and life force wane. My goal is to squeeze more life out of every day.

And this year, as slow productivity master and refreshing antidote to hustle culture, Cal Newport, suggests in his book, Slow Productivity, I’m doing that by working on a maximum of 3 projects at a time. They are:

1. Growing this publication and it’s accompanying podcast, My Mama Summer

2. Mentoring my business community, Freedom Hackers, and growing it’s new Substack publication, Simplicity Business.

3. And, most importantly, MYSELF (a project that hasn’t seen the light of day for years).

I’m capping my work hours at 20, removing social media from my orbit, focussing on deep work, outsourcing tasks that sap my life force, taking up wool felting, reconnecting with one of my all-time passions - dancing, healing my body and psyche, and, of course, documenting it all along the way.

You’ll find the behind the scenes of my business growth in my brand new, sister publication, Simplicity Business.

Simplicity Business

The online magazine for entrepreneurs building slow, simple, seasonal businesses. No hustle. No comparison.

By Aimee Q Devlin

I’m recalibrating to my own inner compass. Not culture’s, my coach’s, or that of an organised religion or anyone else. Put simply, I’m minimising what goes in, maximising what comes out, and slowing TF down in every way.

I’m not the only human feeling the need to implement radical change like this. The frantic pace of modern life has many people—including myself—overwhelmed and burnt out. As I mentioned in this recent article about the rise of ADULT ADHD, there’s input thrown at us from every direction. And little time or place to just stop and smell the roses.

And as we’ve moved into the digital era, we’ve lost the art of listening to ourselves. How can we listen to ourselves when we never stop?

So much of the dysfunction we see around us is a result of this. We rely too much on externality to guide us, instead deferring to others at every opportunity.

Therapists. Social media followers. Oracle Cards. Culture. Friends. Gurus. Plant medicine. Jesus. The Bible. Medical Experts. Channellers. The quantum field. Light language. Human Design. Crystals. Angels. Coaches.

There’s a nuance to this conversation. I’m not saying all tools are inherently bad—but that using them incorrectly is. Whether we’re pouring our heart out on our therapist’s sofa, calling our coach, or consulting our guides, it’s all looking to someone or something else for the answer.

But, as Joseph Campbell says, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

Have we lost the art of looking inward for answers instead of towards others? Because that’s where the gold lies.

Often we trick ourselves into feeling like we’re going within.

We book a jungle retreat to sit with the medicine, asking a plant and shaman to guide us to the answers.

We hop on social media to check how the herd is reacting.

We scour a search engine for answers.

We fit in with culture, censor ourselves from speaking our truth, and halt our self-expression to appease others.

We look to our peers instead of our families for answers. And we train our kids to do the same.

We seek out books and podcasts that throw research, beliefs, and opinions at us.

We seek out psychics and channellers connected to other realms in an effort to understand our own.

We idolise Gods and gurus, and books that proclaim to share “The Word”.

And rarely, it ever stops.

The constant stream of input is nauseating. Paralysing, even.

And if you look around, you see it everywhere.

But my idea for this article didn’t come from the internet or my phone. It was a shower thought that came out of my consciousness when I had a precious, scarce moment to myself.

The next time you’re in public, observe the people around you to see what happens when they have a moment to themselves. What are they most likely to do?

Do they people watch? Take deep breaths? Move or stretch their body? Help others with a door or their shopping? Engage someone in conversation? Close their eyes and reconnect to themselves? No.

They probably take out their phone and start tapping on apps. When they get bored of the first one, they’ll exit and enter a new one. Entering world after world after world. Plugging in input after input after input.

Is it addiction? A coping mechanism? Escapism? A habit? Time for ourselves? Preventing FOMO? Seeking connection? Zoning out? Revenge bedtime procrastination? False productivity? Being afraid of boredom?

It’s all of these things. And the result is the demise of the internal compass.

The Smartphone’s Role in Our Devolution

The anonymous university student I quoted above describes a common complaint from phone users who attempt a digital detox—without their phone in hand, they feel like something is missing from their life.

They think it’s their phone. But instead, an absence of their incessant, unconscious scrolling and swiping unmasks a gaping hole they never knew existed. A beautiful—and uncomfortable—diversity of feelings, things and experiences exist outside of their screen awaiting their attention.

Will they uncover them? Or snuff them out?

When we spend our waking hours plugging ourselves into screens at every opportunity, we rob ourselves of solitude, boredom, walking in nature, reading books and magazines, connecting with others, art and crafts, thinking, reflecting, and pondering.

Constant noise replaces solitude. Airpods in our ears while we walk. The TV blaring while we eat dinner. Beats thumping while we workout. An ever-present undercurrent of dissonance and inability to be present in our environment for fear of missing out on something elsewhere.

Mentally, we find ourselves with little inner knowledge and a reliance on the internet for answers to simple questions we once embodied the answers to. We don’t trust ourselves any more. Intuition? What’s that? We’ve outsourced our hearts, guts, and brains to Siri, Alexa, and now ChatGPT.

I realized I depended a lot on my cellphone and the Internet to reinforce the knowledge I thought I carried with me.1

Psychologically, we compare ourselves to others we don’t even want to be like, we talk ourselves out of reaching for our dreams, our self worth takes a beating, and we stop prioritising in-person relationships and friendships because we feel like our online ones are sufficient. Until we realise they aren’t.

And on a physical level, being plugged-in results in an inability for us to concentrate, focus and complete deep work, interrupts our circadian rhythm, and creates an inability for us to BE with ourselves.

And then, we pass the disconnection, dysfunction, and dysregulation on. As adults give their kids phone access, they reproduce their own habits in children who don’t have the context or capacity to understand the repercussions.

The Inner Self vs the Technosphere

What happens when kids grow up not understanding the value of solitude? Worse still, where brief moments of solitude like standing in line are so uncomfortable for them they can’t help but reach into their pocket for a quick hit of TikTok.

How damaging is it for children to have no reference point for how it feels to reference our inner self, rather than the technosphere? And what larger effect does this have on the world and its people?

I believe it makes us more easy to manipulate, more pliable and controllable, and less grounded and centred.

Jean M. Twenge has spent 25 years researching differences between generations. In a 2017 article for the Atlantic she asked the question, have smartphones destroyed a generation?

In her research, Twenge noticed a dramatic shift in the daily habits, psychology, behaviour, and mental health of teens post-2012 (this year was the tipping point where 50% of Americans now owned a smartphone).

I’m part of the Millennial generation. We grew up with an analogue childhood and grew into a digital adulthood. I plugged myself into the internet in my mid-twenties and am woefully difficult to contact on my phone. In contrast, these kids do not remember a time before the internet.

“The arrival of the smartphone has radically changed every aspect of teenagers’ lives, from the nature of their social interactions to their mental health. These changes have affected young people in every corner of the nation and in every type of household. The trends appear among teens poor and rich; of every ethnic background; in cities, suburbs, and small towns. Where there are cell towers, there are teens living their lives on their smartphone.”2

It blew my mind to read that modern kids aren’t excited about traversing the same milestones I was—walking around the shopping centre with my friends sans-adults, getting my driver’s licence, telling a boy I “liked him”, losing my virginity, getting a job so I could have my OWN money and buy what I wanted to—like a car (aka my freedom).

And the evidence shows, this change is related to the rise in teen smartphone use. Giving young people devices is not improving their lives, it’s making them “seriously unhappy.”3 (It does the same for adults too.)

Without exception, teens who spend more time than average on screen activities are more likely to be unhappy. ALL screen activities are linked to less happiness. “Eighth-graders who spend 10 or more hours a week on social media are 56 percent more likely to say they’re unhappy than those who devote less time to social media.” Worse still, “Teens who spend three hours a day or more on electronic devices are 35 percent more likely to have a risk factor for suicide, such as making a suicide plan.”4

I shuddered reading that. Kids are sitting in their rooms alone on their phones making suicide plans? Parent’s, we’re way off track here. Why are we giving kids phones? Why are we even using phones ourselves? Is it time for a revival of the homing pigeon? Where can I buy myself an owl? I shall name her Hedwig.

The Dangers of Distracted Parenting

Now, as much as we’ve spoken about the dangers of devices and screen time for kids here, it’s important to shine that light on ourselves and OUR screen time. Thanks to the omnipresence of devices, many parents suffer from “continuous partial attention”, which is harming our kids even more.

“Occasional parental inattention is not catastrophic (and may even build resilience), but chronic distraction is another story. Smartphone use has been associated with a familiar sign of addiction: Distracted adults grow irritable when their phone use is interrupted; they not only miss emotional cues but actually misread them.

A tuned-out parent may be quicker to anger than an engaged one, assuming that a child is trying to be manipulative when, in reality, she just wants attention. Short, deliberate separations can of course be harmless, even healthy, for parent and child alike (especially as children get older and require more independence). But that sort of separation is different from the inattention that occurs when a parent is with a child but communicating through his or her nonengagement that the child is less valuable than an email.

A mother telling kids to go out and play, a father saying he needs to concentrate on a chore for the next half hour—these are entirely reasonable responses to the competing demands of adult life. What’s going on today, however, is the rise of unpredictable care, governed by the beeps and enticements of smartphones. This is the worst possible model of parenting—we are always present physically, thereby blocking kids’ autonomy, yet only fitfully present emotionally.”5

For those of us who have built our lives around businesses that require us to be online all the time, it can be challenging to switch off. I’ve found having rules around which devices I use for what purposes and when to be incredibly rewarding.

Some of those guidelines are:

I don’t use social media or email on my phone. I work only on my laptop for a specific period of time and when I close it, I’m done.

I don’t have notifications interrupting my precious time with my daughter (much to the dismay of many of the people I love who try and contact me regularly). On the flip side, I’m a delight to meet with in-person because when I’m with you, I’m WITH you.

I added these limits in so I have clear separation between work and life. And even still, those limits are getting a reshuffle and will be tightened this year as I move into my Simplicity Era.

This year, I’m going inward much more than I have before. Previously, I’ve shared the mentors I’m working with for the year in specific areas. I feel no pull to do that this year. For better or worse, I’m tuning back in to myself as the mentor. Of course, I’ll read books, listen to podcasts, and allow ideas to incubate. But first and foremost, I’ll combine that information with my inner knowing, let it percolate, and then come out into the world infused with a little bit of Aimee.

As I see it, this is incredibly important. There's a difference between relying on external factors and being externally referenced, rather than from the inside and knowing who we are, how we feel, what we want, and allowing that to project out into the world.

When we're unsure of who we are, what we want, what our values are, and where we stand, we're incredibly susceptible to misaligned ideas, projects, and programming, whether it's culture, social media, channellers, the Bible, the planets, or whatever it might be.

This year, I look forward to noticing more of what matters in life. I plan to make use of a Sit Spot, as Meagan-Rose Wilson recommended in her podcast with me; watching the daily rhythm and the seasons as they change.

I plan to move my body.

I plan to listen first and foremost to my inner compass, rather than any coach, mentor, or guru. And any advice I do ask for will be put through the filter of my intuition, inner knowing, and instinct.

I plan to slow down and welcome solitude into my life, rather than disregard it as our culture has.

I plan to grow my business in accordance with these principles and my values.

I plan to share how I feel and what changes for me as this experiment unfolds.

I like to imagine a world where we no longer need endless external guidance, inputs, apps, or devices to feel whole.

Instead of waiting for that reality, I’m creating it. A 'Simplicity Era' where intuition, rhythm, and slow living guide my actions. I know the answers aren’t out there; they’re within. Reclaiming my internal compass is a journey I’m wholeheartedly committed to. And I invite you to do the same. Will you join me?

Aimee

x

References

From the ever-present pull of smartphones to the societal norm of looking to therapists, gurus, and even apps for answers, I unpack how we’ve normalised disconnection and the toll this takes on our mental health, relationships, and ability to simply be.

Drawing on research, personal insights, and a touch of humour, I reflect on the cultural shifts that have led to this collective burnout and explore how we might reclaim our intuition.

We’ll discuss the impact of device addiction on both adults and children, how it rewires our brains and habits, and the ripple effect of passing these tendencies on to the next generation.

I share my own journey of stepping into my "Simplicity Era," focusing on slow living, minimising external noise, and embracing the rhythm and stillness that modern life has all but erased.

Whether you’re overwhelmed by the pace of life, curious about finding your way back to your inner compass, or simply ready to say goodbye to endless scrolling, this episode offers relatable insights and practical inspiration for a slower, more intentional way of being.

Will you join me in reclaiming stillness and rewriting the story of how we live, work, and connect?

To read this episode instead, click here.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠https://truthiverse.com) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

Show Notes

• The Dangers of Distracted Parenting: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/

• Smartphone addiction insight from a university student: https://dailyutahchronicle.com/2015/11/05/five-steps-to-help-you-break-free-of-smartphone-dependency/

• Has The Smartphone Destroyed A Generation? https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/

Lisa, a former sceptic turned passionate advocate, shares her personal journey, demystifies popular remedies, and explains how you can use this powerful, non-toxic healing modality at home. We dive into first-aid remedies, the principle of "like cures like," and why homeopathy works so effectively on children, pets, and even plants—dispelling the placebo myth once and for all.

Lisa also reveals the history of homeopathy, its transformative potential for acute and chronic conditions, and why it poses such a threat to the pharmaceutical industry.

Whether you're curious about building a home remedy kit or eager to understand how homeopathy supports emotional and physical well-being, this episode will leave you empowered to take charge of your family's health.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠⁠https://truthiverse.com⁠⁠) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

Your Guest

Lisa Strbac is a certified Homeopath (LCHE, BSc Hons), Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, and international bestselling author dedicated to empowering individuals to take control of their health. With a deep belief in the transformative power of holistic healing, she focuses on helping people understand that true wellness begins from within.

Lisa’s journey into holistic health began in 2015, when her young daughter faced a chronic autoimmune condition. After exhausting conventional medical treatments, she turned to homeopathy, nutrition, and lifestyle changes. The remarkable results sparked a passion in Lisa—who was previously a skeptic—to pursue homeopathy further. She studied at the Centre for Homeopathic Education in the UK, earning her Licentiate, and became a certified health coach at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition.

Lisa is the author of three books, including the international bestseller The Homeopath in Your Hand, which has helped thousands of families learn to use homeopathy at home. Her latest book, The Trailblazer's Insight into Homeopathy, dives deeper into chronic and transformational healing, offering a profound exploration of this unique system of medicine.

Before transitioning to holistic health, Lisa earned a First-Class Honours degree in Psychology from UCL, which has profoundly shaped her approach to understanding and supporting her clients.

In her practice, Lisa has supported individuals with a range of challenges, including gut and skin issues, anxiety, trauma, and children’s behavioural concerns. She believes that by incorporating homeopathy into daily life, families can experience long-term vitality and balance, avoiding the need for chronic interventions. Lisa’s mission is to teach families how to effectively use homeopathy at home, offering courses that provide practical tools to naturally manage health concerns.

Her ultimate goal is to help create a world where more individuals are empowered to understand and support their own health, with homeopathy as a key part of that journey.

Links and Show Notes

Lisa’s Course

• Join Lisa’s upcoming course, Homeopathy Heals, with live calls by Alec Zeck, Jacyln Dunne, Dawn Lester, and Eileen McKusick by clicking this link.

Lisa’s Books

• Buy The Trailblazer's Insight Into Homeopathy: 88 Remedies for the 21st Century Including Miasms, Sarcodes, Nosodes, Isopathic Remedies & the Bowel Nosodes book

• Buy The Homeopath In Your Hand: 77 remedies & how to select them using Homeopathy HEALS book

• Buy Schuessler's Tissue Salts Rediscovered: The 21st Century Guide to Self-Healing book

Other Links

• Lisa’s Website

• More about the Cuban Leptospirosis study

• Podcast episode on homeoprophylaxis with Dr Isaac Golden

• Ton Jansen’s book, Fighting Fire With Fire

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Recently, I was at a live event filled with sensory magic—breathwork, sound healing, ecstatic dance, circus arts, and a market selling exquisite artisan wares. At one stall, I was drawn to a table adorned with feather earrings and delicate bottles of perfume. A woman offered me a sample of a fragrance called Ocelus.

It was unlike anything I’d ever smelled—rich, layered, and completely intoxicating. I had to have it! She told me it contained the essence of the peacock, or pavo real in Spanish. 🦚

Naturally, it felt like fate. Of course, I needed a scent that symbolised a peacock. I could use a little more feather fluffing, a little more confidence in parading myself.

The woman was a bruja, a witch, and she recently was on a podcast exploring the spiritual essence of birds. What she does is channel their energy into rituals and adornments. (Note: it’s in Español, but the idea is just as beautiful if you don’t speak the language.)

But beauty—ah, beauty—it’s more than feathers and perfume. It’s a complex story that’s been told to me, about me, and within me.

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When my daughter is stopped by strangers who remark on her beauty (which happens daily), I feel conflicted. I want her to know she is so much more than what she looks like, but I also don’t want her to reject the gift of being seen—like I have.

It reminds me of my own awkward relationship with beauty growing up. As a teen, my mum had me chop my long hair into a pixie cut and dye it red so I’d stand out. She thought it was important for me to be different, but I wonder if it was just to keep the boys away from my blossoming self.

She also taught me to keep my “everyday look” plain so that when I did dress up, it would feel special. But the result? I’ve spent most of my adult life feeling plain, blending into the background, and comparing myself to women who radiate.

Recently, I visited a consignment store with some girlfriends. One effortlessly found about 10 gorgeous, classy pieces that hung on her deliciously. I looked around and told myself nothing would suit. But would it have?

Was I judging the clothes, or was I judging myself?

When I see women who embrace their femininity, I feel small and unsure of myself. I don’t know where to start—what to wear, how to adorn myself, or how to hold that kind of energy.

And yet, I long for beauty. It’s a non-negotiable in my environment. My soul feels alive in cities like San Miguel de Allende, where vibrant colours and rich textures dance around every corner. I’m enchanted by Europe’s cobblestone streets and ancient architecture. But when it comes to my own appearance, my inner world feels stripped bare.

Postpartum was the hardest chapter of all. I was lost in hormonal fog, wearing clothes chosen solely for “boobability” and not style. Nothing fit. I didn’t feel like myself.

I hired a stylist to help me climb out of the slump. She walked me through wardrobe edits and sourced missing pieces, but I never completed the sessions. I defaulted to old habits—throwing on whatever was easiest, and still do.

A friend (and woman you should definitely follow) recently shared a documentary with me called Why Beauty Matters, and it struck a nerve. Some people seem to effortlessly exude beauty, as though it’s woven into their DNA. But for me, it feels like an uphill battle.

Part of me wonders if my astrology—triple earth energy—keeps me grounded and practical. I don’t want to prance around in fancy outfits that feel inauthentic. I want to feel good, look good, and be comfortable. Is that too much to ask?

My wardrobe tells the story of survival—clothes designed for function, not form. And while I don’t want to feel overdressed running errands or visiting the playground, I also don’t want to feel invisible.

This is where I am: craving simplicity and beauty, while untangling the narrative of what it means to feel radiant. Maybe it starts with small steps—a spritz of Ocelus, a pair of feather earrings. Maybe it’s about redefining beauty for myself and letting it bloom in ways that feel true.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s about recognising that beauty isn’t something you find in a mirror or a wardrobe. It’s a spark, a willingness to say, “I’m here, and I matter.”

I'd love to know what your relationship with beauty is. Is it easy for you or do you struggle like I do?

This is a conversation I would love to have, especially as mothers, as women.

In a world that is always telling us we're not enough, how do we find out if we really are?

Aimee

x

Leave a comment

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I share my struggles with confidence, reflections on how societal expectations shaped my self-image, and the small steps I’m taking to redefine what beauty means to me.

This episode is a candid exploration of vulnerability, identity, and the journey toward self-acceptance. If you’ve ever felt unsure about how you show up in the world, this one’s for you.

Tune in for a raw, relatable take on finding beauty in the everyday—and in ourselves.

If you’d prefer to read, rather than listen to this episode, please do so here.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week.

Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

Until I started to notice it more. And more.

Many of these people were also seemingly awake to the reality of the pharmaceutical industry, yet were now actively seeking advice, diagnosis, and solutions from the same enterprise. I started getting curious, asking myself, why now? What’s driving this?

In this article, I dive into the surge of adult ADHD diagnoses, questioning the cultural, social, medical, and environmental forces driving this trend. Together, we’ll uncover the history and origins of psychiatric diagnoses, peeling back the layers of how these “disorders” came to be defined. We’ll also examine current movements, like the neurodiversity paradigm, and how they’re reshaping our culture and self-perceptions. Along the way, I’ll share my personal reflections and propose alternative approaches to navigating life’s challenges without rushing to label or medicate ourselves—because that’s always where our power lies.

What Happens When Psychiatry Fails to Ask "Why?"

I was in my early twenties when I learned how the psychiatric industry works. My boyfriend’s father had been considered “bipolar” for a long time, and was supposed to take a daily medication from the benzodiazepine family called Clonazepam.

Except, he hated taking this medication due to how it made him feel, so he’d often secretly stop taking it, resulting in what his family considered to be “episodes” in which he wanted to leave the planet—but which were, in fact, withdrawal symptoms.

Clonazepam may cause a physical dependence (a condition in which unpleasant physical symptoms occur if a medication is suddenly stopped or taken in smaller doses), especially if you take it for several days to several weeks. Do not stop taking this medication or take fewer doses without talking to your doctor. Stopping clonazepam suddenly can worsen your condition and cause withdrawal symptoms that may last for several weeks to more than 12 months.1

After one of these “episodes”, he’d be sent to a rehabilitation centre where he’d stay for a few weeks with other mental patients to have therapy and be forced to take his medication. Then, he’d be welcomed back into the family where the cycle of hell would continue.

Witnessing the same harrowing cycle repeat for years, I started to wonder if there was another solution. This led me to take a deep dive of the psychiatric and psychotropic drug industry in my spare time.

I was curious what it was that resulted in the initial diagnosis of “bipolar disorder” but his family had been on the hamster wheel for so long it was a distant memory. Most of what they remembered was the vicious cycle of coming off and going onto the drugs and the resulting suicidal episodes, not the circumstances which prompted the initial diagnosis.

Not satisfied with surface level answers, I wanted to know, how do psychiatrists come up with these “disorders” and get people to believe they have them so they take their drugs for life?

The Business of Labels: How Disorders Are Voted Into Existence

In my research, I learned psychiatric diagnosis is based on a book called the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (or DSM for short).

This bible of psychiatry contains symptoms and descriptions for diagnosing a rapidly increasing number of mental health disorders. The original edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published in 1952, listed “102 categories of diagnoses, increasing to 182 in the DSM-II, 265 in the DSM-III, and 297 in the DSM-IV.”2 Each edition casts a wider net encompassing larger segments of the population.

As it turns out, psychiatry and the DSM aren’t based on any form of scientific testing. The average person is completely oblivious to this. We make appeals to the white coats of authority who satisfy us with vague assumptions, as in the case of depression, for example, where the cause is said to be a “chemical imbalance”. But there’s no proof of this.

Psychiatric diagnoses are not medical but merely voted‑on behaviours. Yes, that’s right. “Disorders” are based on votes sent in by psychiatrists. And, “more than half the experts who compile the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders have ties to the pharmaceutical industry.”3

A 2006 study4 showed that “Fifty-six percent of its contributors have received research funding, speaking or consulting fees, or other forms of financial compensation from drug companies.”5 It also found that, “One hundred percent of the members of the panels on ‘Mood Disorders’ and ‘Schizophrenia and Other Psychotic Disorders’ had financial ties to drug companies.”6

Sobering stuff. Could it get worse? Well, yes.

In the USA and other Western countries who have adopted this method of diagnosis, “many state and federal statutes include definitions of mental illnesses based specifically on the diagnostic guidelines found in the DSM for use in both civil and criminal proceedings. Additionally, private insurance companies and several federal and state government funded programs, such as disability and benefits programs, rely on the DSM in determining a person’s potential eligibility.”7

“In the modern world, virtually every mental health professional must refer to the DSM's codes to bill treatment to insurance companies.”8

Put simply, psychiatry is a monopoly based on unsubstantiated ideas that has made its way into every corner of modern lives.

Consider that “80% or more of the general public now believe it is established that depression is caused by a ‘chemical imbalance’”9. And this legacy theory is still put forward by professionals who prescribe Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) to the tune of $8.9 billion per year10 despite there being no convincing evidence that depression is associated with, or caused by, lower serotonin concentrations or activity.”11

Let’s tie all of that up in a disturbing little bow before we move on.

1. The whole edifice of psychiatry is propped up by a selection of psychiatrists voting to include “disorders”—which are simply a list of symptoms—into a book.

2. The majority of these psychiatrists have ties to a pharmaceutical company with a vested interest in what disorders are included in the book.

3. Many of these disorders use drugs as the first line of treatment.

4. Shifts in terminology and diagnostic criteria in each edition have been shown to coincide with radical upturns in drug prescriptions.12

5. All psychiatrists must use this book as their bible to diagnose patients with an increasing number of disorders, prescribing psychotropic drugs as the solution, so that psychiatrists and pharmaceutical companies get paid and patients are financially reimbursed.

6. The more disorders are included in the book, the more opportunity there is to prescribe psychotropic drugs for their treatment, and the more the pharmaceutical companies and shareholders laugh their way to the bank.

This entire house of cards resulted in my boyfriend’s father—during one of the times where he stopped taking Clonazepam, had been diagnosed with lung cancer and was undergoing chemotherapy (another rabbit hole I won’t get into right now)—sculling some bleach from under the sink, and dying alone in hospital a few days later because this wasn’t his first suicide attempt and his family were sure he was the boy crying wolf.

At the time, I was the only human in the family who saw this for what it was; a death caused by Big Pharma and the psychiatric industry, and a travesty that he never got the holistic help he needed because doctors were too busy trying to force pills down his throat and chastising him for not wanting to.

I also seemed to be the only one who looked at whether cancer was connected to Clonazepam. As it turns out, it is. This study “found that clonazepam users have had 15% higher risk to develop cancer among all other BZD drugs.”13

To me, this death was not a suicide at all. And this made me wonder how many deaths are hidden under the carpet and blamed on this cause, when there are clearly other forces at play.

Fast forward to today and the psychiatric industry continues to boom, yet has no true solution other than psychotropic drugs, hence my interest in the inner workings of the current adult ADHD epidemic.

Antipsychotic drugs—powerful chemicals designed originally for only the most seriously mentally troubled—are now a $22.8 billion industry.14 They’re handed out like lollies. You only need take one look at the graph below to see how “more effectively diagnosing” just one category of disorder, like ADHD lines the pharmaceutical coffers.

So let’s bring this back to the explosion of adult ADHD diagnosis and explore why I see the current trendiness of being diagnosed as an “ADHDer” strangely problematic.

Many friends and acquaintances have expressed a sense of relief after being diagnosed—perhaps due to feeling seen, heard, and recognised for their idiosyncrasies—even though their intention is not to go the pharmaceutical route.

So how does one get diagnosed?

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The ADHD Quiz: How Easy Is It to Get a Label?

Currently, no single medical test can determine if you have ADHD. No brain scan, blood test, or genetic test is available to show you that you have ADHD. Neurologists can scan your brain and make assumptions about why parts of it look the way they do, but they can’t “see” ADHD.15

And although ADHD is listed in the DSM-5-TR under Neurodevelopmental Disorders, “no biological marker is diagnostic for ADHD”. “Meta-analysis of all neuroimaging studies do not show differences between individuals with ADHD and control subjects”, thus “no form of neuroimaging can be used for diagnosis of ADHD.”16

Basically, diagnosis is entirely up to your doctor’s discretion. They’ll examine your symptoms (ticking them off from a list of 18) and how they affect different areas of your daily life and let you know if you make the grade.17

You can also self-screen. This won’t give you a “formal diagnosis”, but you’ll be answering the same questions a psychiatrist will ask you. The self-screening tool18 consists of 6 initial questions, deemed the ones “found to be the most predictive of symptoms consistent with ADHD.”19

Out of curiosity, I took the test and my results said I had “symptoms highly consistent with ADHD in adults and further investigation is warranted”. I have zero desire to have myself labelled with any disorder, but this experiment showed me it would be simple enough for me to do so.

In one of their episodes, James and Jules Galloway, hosts of the Late Diagnosis ADHD podcast—who were both diagnosed with ADHD (combined type) after being married for over 20 years—have both found a new identity after receiving their diagnoses.

From Symptom to Selfhood: The Identity of ADHD

ADHD seems to have become a core part of the Galloway's’ personalities, a new lens they see the world through. And at the ages of 50 and 46, they’ve found a sense of belonging in a special global family of people with similar personality quirks.

When I listened to James sharing how insulted he feels “when people hit you with the ‘Oh, but everyone’s got ADHD!’ comment,” it felt like he was saying, “No, I’m special. There are only a certain amount of people allowed in our special club.” It reminded me of the time I spent in a divisive feminist community where many of the women clung to victimhood.

The use of neologisms and buzzwords in the ADHD world has definite parallels to social justice, feminism, gender studies, identity politics, and what I and others consider to be “woke programming”.

In one episode, Jules mentioned the word “neurotype”, which I’d never heard of, but after looking it up, I found a sentence which hits the nail on the head for why people in the “ADHD movement” cling to their diagnoses.

Dr Joel Schwartz, a Neurodivergent Psychological Consultant from the Neurodivergent Collective, says, “Unlike the medical model that sees these conditions in terms of symptoms, often with a wholly negative spin as something to get rid of, the Neurodiversity paradigm sees these syndromes as more of an identity.” [emphasis added in bold]

Dr Schwartz works within the “Neurodiversity Affirming Paradigm/Model,”20 which “is an anti-oppressive methodology that is informed by social justice education, such as disability justice, disability studies, neurodiversity studies, Mad studies, critical autism studies and fat studies. It was developed to intervene against the current oppressive models that center individualism and are inherently fatphobic, ableist and sanist. It challenges the medical model of disability, neuronormativity and pathological paradigm that currently pervades and anchors education and practice in dietetics and the mental health field.”21 [emphasis added in bold]

How beautifully that paragraph outlines my point about the introduction of neologisms. I had to read it multiple times to get a vague sense of what it was attempting to say. I still feel confused.

Neuroaffirming care is a new model that “takes a person-centered, strengths-based approach. It aims to empower and support unique needs and strengths…rather than trying to ‘fix’ or change neurodivergent people to fit into a narrow idea of what’s considered “normal” or ‘better’.”22

It’s important to understand here that the “neurodiversity movement” is a social movement, not a medical one. The neurodiversity theory has not been formally adapted for psychotherapeutic frameworks.23

Unbeknownst to them, the neurodiversity community’s ideology is underpinned by Critical Theory, which teaches neurodiverse people they’re discriminated against at every turn, which then becomes the lens in which they experience the world. This is evident in the way James and Jules speak.

It’s based on the idea that we want everyone to feel included. But if we start “affirming” everything and removing all relationship to “normal”, could we be robbing many people of the ability to experience life in a richer, more regulated, and less challenging way?

The teachings reject “normalcy”, the idea that neurodivergent people need “fixing”, and positions neurodivergent people as the experts in neurodiversity.

This puts anyone who attempts to bring forth any solutions that may help regulate people experiencing symptoms of “neurodiversity” in a position where they’re not allowed to—they’re not the “expert” AND there’s nothing to fix.

But—dare I say it—what if there was?

Attention Crisis: ADHD and Our Culture of “Too Much”

I recently read Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. An incredible read, he shares how to simplify parenting and outlines small, doable steps to a simpler, more connected home life.

Payne laments that modern children are exposed to a constant flood of information which they can’t process or rationalise. When I read this, I realised that’s exactly how I feel too.

At the time of reading the book, I was in the midst of an extensively challenging week. I felt overwhelmed, overloaded, under-skilled, exhausted, and like I was drowning in the midst of all that lay in front of me. I felt useless; lambasted by all of the different social media channels, messaging apps, and communication channels I’m “supposed” to keep on top of as an online business owner, daughter, mother, and wife. Not to mention all of the other “adulting” that’s required of me.

It got to the point where I’d had a post-kid’s-bedtime sofa breakdown with my husband sharing how I just don’t know how I’m supposed to keep up with it all.

As I reflected on Payne’s words and combined them with my own emotions, plus what I was noticing regarding the increase in trendiness of ADHD in my social world, it dawned on me.

What if the rise in what we label “adult ADHD” has the same cause as “childhood ADHD”, as outlined in Simplicity Parenting?

I started to join some dots.

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Challenging the “Fixed Brain” Myth

The mainstream view that psychiatrists and people like James and Jules, or celebrity ADHDer, Em Rusciano hold true is that “The brain you were born with is the brain you were born with…ADHD is a neurotype, a brain type, you can’t get rid of it.”

They therefore perceive ADHD as “a lifelong condition”. Yet, this model is outdated, proven false, and ignores many important factors, like hormones and our environment.

Payne says of these popularised, yet outdated ideas:

“It seems, though, partly an outgrowth of popular views of the brain as our ‘control tower’, hardwired and fixed. With this conceptual model, the way to change behaviour must be a way of rewiring. Such drugs as Ritalin and Adderall are promoted as rewiring in pill form.

Another accepted analogy for the brain is a specific chemical formula, a kind of personal hormonal cocktail. If there is a deficit of serotonin in your brain’s mix, then, unfortunately, you may have ADD. And if you see ADD as entirely a function of brain chemistry, and you see that chemical ratio as fixed, then only chemical intervention makes sense.” [emphasis added in bold]

Like me, Payne isn’t a fan of the use of terms like “ADHD” or “ADD”. He says,

“There is an excess of attention, really. These kids can be very attentive, but they have difficulties prioritising that attention. Their level of attentiveness is not always in accordance with the situation at hand. The acronym I think more appropriately describes the syndrome is API: attention priority issue.”24

I’ll be the first to put my hand up and say I definitely find it hard to prioritise my attention. Don’t you?

The ADHD Study That Changed Everything

Kim John Payne and research partner, Bonnie River, conducted a five year study25 on fifty-five children from thirty two Waldorf schools in the USA and Canada who clearly had attention difficulties or API. All of the children surveyed fell within either the clinically or school related parameters for a positive diagnosis for ADD/ADHD.

Payne and River’s study “counters the view that the brain’s ‘hormonal cocktail’ is entirely predetermined and fixed”. Their results suggest “a child is more than just the chemical levels in their brain and the tendencies those levels influence.”

My feeling is that adults are too.

In Simplicity Parenting, Payne shares that the “anxious child has an abundance of cortisone that the body can’t fully assimilate; the very active child has tendencies derived from adrenaline.”

Their study shows that these “chemical landscapes and drivers (hormones and tendencies) can be affected by changes in a child’s environment and their life. Behavioural tendencies can be soothed or relaxed by creating calm.”

Within four short months, they found that “68 percent of the children whose parents and teachers adhered to the protocol went from clinically dysfunctional26 to clinically functional...”27

“The children in our study also experienced a 36.8 percent increase in academic and cognitive ability. Such indicators are flat with the psychotropic drugs.”28

After repeating the study, they got the exact same results.

As a reminder, no drugs were involved and the kids included in the study were those “who might just as likely be hanging from the rafters as seated at desks…the kids who can hijack a class by monopolising the teacher’s attention.”29

So how did they get these results?

Less is More: The Life-Changing Impact of Living Simply

Rather than medicalising their symptoms, they devised a “simplification regime” with “particular emphasis on simplifying environment (including dietary changes), screen media, and schedules.”

Parents and teachers completed out a detailed monthly log of the changes they made at home and school and the frequency with which they applied these strategies. These were mailed back to the research centre for four months.

As one task, they asked “parents to look at the amount of information their child was absorbing and to cut it in half.”

Now I’d like you to think aboout the amount of information you, as an adult, are absorbing. What might happen if you were to cut that in half?

These results weren’t created in a laboratory setting with fancy tools or the need for therapists. They were lifestyle changes available to anyone.

The “protocol” was simplification: a building up of their vitality, or etheric forces, and a quieting down of their stimulation.

And this is what had me make the connection between what I was experiencing and wondering if I—and every adult and child in the Western World—would benefit from simplification too.

The answer? Absolutely.

The average adult spends approx. 7 hours looking at a screen every day.30

The “typical social media user actively uses or visits an average of 6.8 different social platforms each month, and spends an average of 2 hours 19 minutes per day using social media.”31

On average, professionals check their email 15 times per day, or every 37 minutes.32

We have mounting work, parental, and household responsibilities.

We need to feed, clothe, and take care of ourselves, which means shopping, cooking, working out, and getting adequate sleep.

Our home is a reminder of all the things we haven’t done yet.

We’re bombarded by advertising, shiny objects, and feel paralysed by the millions of daily bids for our attention.

We weren’t designed to process so many things at once.

And we’re constantly measuring ourselves against the “experts” and “everyday people” we follow on social media who seem to have it together, always.

It’s a lot. Too much.

That the popularity of the idea of abandoning civilisation to live in a cabin in the forest, reading by candlelight in front of the wood fire, after eating a dinner prepared from food we grew ourselves is so appealing to the majority of adults is no accident.

En masse, we are craving simple, slow lives, whilst hustling and pursuing madness.

We don’t want to climb the corporate ladder, check all our social media apps on autopilot, and outsource parenting to people we don’t know.

But we do it because we feel like we have to.

We want to feel calm, at ease, and live peaceful, rhythmic lives that support us.

What might happen if we opted for the “Simplicity-Affirming Paradigm” instead of the “Neurodiversity Affirming Paradigm” which goes to insane lengths to pretend that overwhelm and dysregulation are normal—when most of us would say, they clearly aren’t?

From Routine to Chaos: How Life Shifts Trigger ADHD Diagnoses

In 2022, Kelli María Korducki wrote an article in which she says there’s a striking overlap between ADHD symptoms and “pandemic brain”. She says:

“ADHD symptoms can look and sound a whole lot like the struggles that define many people’s everyday workflows, which are so often fragmented by push notifications and digital dopamine hits. Who doesn’t have trouble multitasking or following through with tasks? And who isn’t fighting the urge to impulse-scroll social media during the particularly dull moments of any given afternoon?”33

Em Rusciano, an Australian “celebrity” who was diagnosed with ADHD in 2021 during the plandemic, describes in a National Press Club address how she was feeling when she was diagnosed:

During the great Melbourne lockdown of 2020…after the novelty of being at home with my family 24/7 wore off, quite quickly I found the absence of my usual routine and structure led to my mental health completely unraveling.

I was exhausted all of the time and it wasn't a physical exhaustion, it was a tiredness that crept into my bones and settled there. No amount of sleep or rest could rid me of it.

And suddenly completing the simplest tasks became nearly impossible it felt like my brain had been bleached of all its magic and I felt completely overwhelmed by life.34

Yes, Em. But how were your sleep, stress and anxiety levels at that time? Your movement and nutrition? Were you watching the news? How did your environment, self-care, and alone time look? Were your hormones balanced? Did you experience loneliness or isolation? Were you missing your regular routine, rituals, and rhythm?

Have you ever had any?

Em’s address resulted in her becoming Australia’s adult ADHD poster girl. But she admits at the time of her diagnosis she was an “anxiety-ridden adult woman” who was “chronically exhausted all of the time”.

In Payne’s book, he mentions the role of cortisol as a neural hijacker, that bullies out learning and other functions to make room for its floods.35 I think it’s safe to say most people’s cortisol levels rose more than a little over the last few years. Em’s no exception.

In her podcast, Anomalous, which she began recording in 2024, Em says:

“Life changes are a huge trigger for late diagnosis. For me, it was the lack of routine and massive life shift that came with the Melbourne lockdown. I also now know it was probably due to hormonal changes from entering perimenopause at this time.”

Notice how in the first sentence above she mentions life changes and “late” diagnosis—and then fails to fully connect the dots?

She assumes (without proof) there is an underlying insidious neurological aberration that has gone unnoticed her whole life and which “conveniently” just happened to be highlighted during the fascist lockdowns—instead of the issue really boiling down to lifestyle and environment factors in her immediate area.

Em admits herself that her skyrocketing stress and fatigue just happened to emerge after undergoing six lockdowns totalling 262 days shattered her normal living circumstances and forced her to adopt decidedly abnormal ones instead.

The solution? Take drugs and normalise dysfunction, apparently.

Let’s just ignore the evidence that shows that without high levels of cortisol circling our bodies, free of the stress–regress cycle, we can regulate our emotions and we’re better able to function.

Let’s ignore the dysregulation that digital screen exposure causes us.

Let’s pretend that an inability to modulate our mood, attention, or level of arousal in a manner appropriate to our environment is not connected in any way to the change in our lifestyles.

Let’s pretend that having a disorganised nervous system that’s constantly in fight-or-flight mode is fine and dandy.

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Healing Through Awareness, Not Avoidance

Remember how Payne prefers to use the term API (attention priority issue) rather than ADHD?

Em says, “I don’t have a deficit of attention. I have the opposite. I have an obsessive, out of control, addictive sort of attention. But I usually have no control over where it goes.”36

She just described an “attention priority issue” perfectly.

I want to give Em a big hug and I also wonder what might have happened if she’d paused for a moment and opted for life simplification rather than seeking medical “support”?

The truth is, “symptoms” are signposts. They’re designed to bring our attention to our lives. To have us stop. Take stock. Rest and re-evaluate. We don’t need a label, diagnosis, or medication from the cult of Big Pharma to do that.

There is an abundance of evidence to suggest that simplifying our lives—rather than ploughing ahead with medication and slapping on a trendy new identity—is the answer.

As I see it, the Adult ADHD Epidemic is an extension of the mindset that pervades the Western culture, which says:

“If you feel something, label it and do everything you can to make it go away. Surely there’s a pill to numb you and help you keep going?”

Headaches.

Period pain.

Stomach aches.

Constipation.

Back pain.

Coughs and runny noses.

Having a short attention span.

Being easily distracted.

Appearing forgetful or losing things.

Being unable to stick to tasks that are tedious or time-consuming.

Constantly changing activity or task.

Having difficulty organising tasks.

Being unable to sit still.

Being unable to concentrate on tasks.

(Those last 8 on are all ADHD symptoms, by the way…)37

They all exist to gain our attention and bring us back to ourselves. And the more we ignore or repress them, the more disconnected we become, and the more they’ll come back to bite us later.

Strength is in addressing the root cause, not silencing the symptoms to push through.38

As Rudolf Steiner wrote, “Life as a whole is a unity, and we must not only consider the child but the whole of life; we must look at the whole human being.”

Modern life has us addicted to materialism and reductionism.

On one level, we want to believe we can keep living our hectic lives while a doctor slaps a diagnosis—and new identity—on us. We’ll take any kind of bandaid; as long as we don’t have to stop.

On another level, we crave simplicity and would burn it all down in a second.

Which path we choose depends on our willingness and ability to stop and listen to ourselves.

To drown out culture, trends, and external sources and listen to our inner knowing.

In today’s world, the answer is never needing more.

We always need less.

Simplification is the balm for our deeply frantic lives. Not only for our children, but for ourselves too.

Will we listen?

If we could stick our head up from our phones, perhaps we might.

With love,

Aimee

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References

38

The Awakened Woman

Why So Many Women Lack Body Wisdom

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything right—and yet, something’s still off? Like you’re spinning your wheels in a wellness hamster wheel, wondering why you don’t feel radiant, connected, or grounded…

Read more

a year ago · 8 likes · Awakened Woman

---

People who once saw Big Pharma for what it is are now turning to the same system for answers, labels, and solutions. Something isn’t adding up, so on today’s episode of My Mama Summer, I decided to dig deeper.

In this episode, we’ll look at the bigger picture. I explore the cultural, environmental, and medical forces driving the rise of adult ADHD. From the shaky origins of psychiatric diagnoses to the way modern life—packed with endless distractions and mounting stress—can leave us all feeling overwhelmed.

I’ll also share insights from Kim John Payne’s Simplicity Parenting and his game-changing research, which suggests that simplifying our environment might be the key to soothing attention issues (in kids and adults) without rushing to medicate or test out a trendy new identity like an “ADHDer”.

What if the “symptoms” we’re feeling are simply messages from our body to slow down, take stock, and adjust? And could embracing simplicity, instead of an on-trend diagnosis, be the solution we’re craving?

Tune in as we unpack the ADHD trend and explore how a little less noise and a little more calm could transform how we live.

If you prefer to read, rather than listen, you can do so here.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠⁠https://truthiverse.com⁠⁠) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

References

These references are all listed with relevant quotes in the article version of this episode here.

• https://medlineplus.gov/druginfo/meds/a682279.html

• https://www.verywellmind.com/the-diagnostic-and-statistical-manual-dsm-2795758

• https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2006/05/how-do-new-disorders-get-into-the-dsm.html

• https://karger.com/pps/article-abstract/75/3/154/282469/Financial-Ties-between-DSM-IV-Panel-Members-and

• https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2006/05/how-do-new-disorders-get-into-the-dsm.html

• https://sci-hub.se/https://doi.org/10.1159/000091772

• https://www.law.uh.edu/hjhlp/volumes/Vol_13_1/Bearden.pdf

• https://www.verywellmind.com/dsm-friend-or-foe-2671930

• https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-022-01661-0

• SSRI’s accounted for 47% of the antidepressant drug market share in 2024.

• https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/antidepressants-per-capita?time=2021

• https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-022-01661-0

• https://www.law.uh.edu/hjhlp/volumes/Vol_13_1/Bearden.pdf

• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4602739/

• https://www.cchr.org/documentaries/marketing-of-madness/all-in-favor-say-aye.htm

• https://creyos.com/blog/adhd-brain-scan

• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9871920/

• https://add.org/adhd-dsm-5-criteria/

• https://add.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/adhd-questionnaire-ASRS111.pdf

• https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/

• https://www.rdsforneurodiversity.com/neurodiversity-affirming-model

• Ibid.

• https://theconversation.com/neuroaffirming-care-values-the-strengths-and-differences-of-autistic-people-those-with-adhd-or-other-profiles-heres-how-227449

• https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/dmcn.15384

• Simplicity Parenting

• The Anthroposophical Society of America and the Medical Section sponsor the project. It is kindly funded by the Anthroposophical Society, the Research Institute for Waldorf Education, The Rudolf Steiner Foundation, the Fetzer Foundation, Weleda AG, The Hawthorn Foundation, Dr Hauschka Products and donations from individuals.

• Clinically dysfunctional is defined here as clinically above the 92nd percentile on the Barkley scale (the commonly accepted psychological testing scale for hyperactivity and inattentiveness). Clinically functional is defined as below the 72nd percentile on the same scale.

• Simplicity Parenting

• Ibid.

• Ibid.

• https://www.allconnect.com/blog/screen-time-stats

• https://datareportal.com/social-media-users

• https://hbr.org/2019/01/how-to-spend-way-less-time-on-email-every-day

• https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jun/02/tiktok-trends-or-the-pandemic-whats-behind-the-rise-in-adhd-diagnoses

• Em Rusciano’s National Press Club address:

Together, we share our take on how feminism, rather than empowering women, often leaves them feeling powerless by promoting victimhood and pushing them away from their innate feminine strength.

We chat about the growing criticism of traditional feminine traits like caring, nurturing and softness, and how some feminists label these qualities as "low value."

We also explore the unrealistic expectation for men to be more feminine while still maintaining masculine roles, creating a confusing imbalance in relationships and society. From the feminisation of men to the suppression of masculine energy, we don’t hold back in questioning how this narrative serves anyone.

With honesty and vulnerability, we share how rejecting these modern ideas, embracing traditional gender roles, and focusing on “inner work” has brought us both a sense of balance, fulfilment and deeper connection in our relationship.

If you’ve ever felt like something is off with the current conversation around feminism or questioned how it impacts men and women in real life, this episode will give you a fresh—and much-needed—perspective.

Tune in to explore the ‘unseen chains’ of feminism, and how reclaiming true feminine power can lead to personal freedom, stronger relationships, and a more aligned life.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠⁠https://truthiverse.com) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

Your Guest

Brendan D. Murphy is the “consciousness guy” and author of the critically acclaimed epic, “The Grand Illusion: A Synthesis of Science and Spirituality — Book 1”.

He’s also the founder of The Truthiversity, the #1 consciousness-raising university for awakening minds (Truthiversity.com), and facilitator of accelerated evolution inside his Evolve Yourself program (learn more at www.evolveyourself.live).

Grab your copy of “The Grand Illusion: A Synthesis of Science and Spirituality — Book 1": www.BrendanDmurphy.com/tgi (reader reviews also available here).

Subscribe to Brendan’s Substack.

Get on the wait list for the astonishing Book 2 of “The Grand Illusion”.

Links

Sarah Wilson’s Instagram post

Tony Baker’s Instagram post

It doesn’t matter who “wins”. there’s always someone who’s butt hurt.

You know, the person who proceeds to lash out and vomit the contents of their psyche over the people around them who are living their best lives.

The projection is real. It’s guilt, shame, disgust, and outrage with division at its core.

I’m so curious why humans continue to fall for it.

I wonder if it’s because it’s always more palatable to believe someone is going to “save us” than to admit the truth—that they aren’t and they can’t.

We’re so addicted to giving our power away and pointing the finger at the “bad people” that we don’t realise the world is this way because of us.

Yes you. And me. Us.

When you sit with that sentence, it’s a bitter pill to swallow. But it’s also the seed of something amazing—if you allow it to be. 🌱

If you’ve built your personality by taking on external beliefs and ideologies as your own, you don’t understand what I just said. You’re still looking for someone to blame.

But if you’ve built your personality by asking questions, thinking critically, and changing your mind as you receive new information, you’ll be nodding with a knowing as you read my words.

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I don’t fit the mould, never have.

I’ve never voted and never desired to—even though it’s “compulsory” in Australia.

As a whole, Australians aren’t a political culture—we’d rather be at the beach. Perhaps this is why we’re coerced to vote through the threat of punishment.

Yes, in Australia, if you’re registered to vote and don’t, you’ll be fined unless you give a “valid and sufficient reason” for not voting. (No, I don’t know if politics being a complete farce is considered a valid and sufficient reason, but you could test it out and let me know.) If you don’t pay your fine, it’ll keep increasing, and soon you won’t be able to renew your car registration or Drivers Licence. How wonderful.

I’m told those from the USA consider voting to be “one of the key freedoms of American life”, which is why they show up to rallies, wear badges, and erect signs of their allegiance on their lawn.

Meanwhile, the Aussies show up 10 mins before closing to draw a dick on their paper just so they don’t get fined.

Compulsory voting is an interesting beast.

I vividly recall the moment when I was seventeen, a flicker away from graduating school, and sitting in history class, when an electoral official entered our classroom, threw green pamphlets on our desks, and requested we sign and hand them back to her so she could return them to her overlord.

We were told it was “compulsory” to enrol now that we were turning 18. Being my rebellious and reflective self, I sat and stared instead of signing. And when she asked for my pamphlet, I told her I’d take it home to think about it.

My predominant thought was one of disbelief that I, a girl who just wanted to dance, write, and gossip with girlfriends, was considered responsible enough to vote. It seemed ludicrous and irresponsible, especially as the electoral official drummed it into us how important our votes were to be.

That was 23 years ago. I’ve never voted and I still don’t care to.

From where I stand, it’s even MORE insane to have 18 or 21 year olds voting nowadays, because they’re infinitely more confused, brainwashed, and immature than I was all those years ago.

I later realised what a badass move it was to not sign the paper that day. I hacked the system before they got to me. Most Aussies I speak with don’t even remember how their name got on the electoral roll. They don’t want to vote, but can’t get their name removed. So they, like so many others, choose to show up or cop a fine.

I hold firm that it’s ridiculous to be coerced to choose between two people you don’t know, like, or trust, and request for them to rule over you for an arbitrarily specified amount of time (especially if you’ve done ANY form of research into the two wings of the bird and the grander workings of the Machine).

I’ve always thought there must be a better option than, as South Park put it, choosing between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

(For context—and giggles—please watch this short video…)

One such option, if I may naively share, would be having people vote on their answer to various individual issues or questions. Such as:

• “Should we stop adding fluoride to the water?” Yes or No.

• “Should we abolish income tax?” Yes or No.

• “Should we feed nourishing meals to kids at school?” Yes or No.

• “Should we subsidise homeopathy?” Yes or No.

• “Should we spend your money bombing innocent people?” Yes or No.

I think that would be a spectacular plan. And I don’t have a politics degree (nor do I want to debate about it if you’re busting to tell me why that plan wouldn’t work).

I’ve always felt confused by having to “choose a side”.

What do you mean I have to want to homestead, protect myself with a gun, and worship Jesus?

What do you mean I have to want to feed the homeless, care about the environment, and pretend men can have babies?

We see this all the time with politics in the USA.

We’re presented with the false dichotomy, are you a Democrat or a Republican?

Erm, how about I choose my own beliefs?

Newsflash: there are other options to choose from. I don’t want any part of your boxes that only serve to divide, thank you.

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Twenty-three years ago, seventeen-year-old me sensed something my classmates didn’t—that I should take time to think about this decision, and that politics is a farce and no amount of voting is going to change the world.

So how do we change the world?

Well, my friend Eileen McKusick put it so eloquently in a recent heartfelt video, that I decided to add my visuals to her words and share this with you instead.

I’ve dubbed the video, “Why Politics Won't Save Us.”

Enjoy and please share with the people who need to hear it.

Aimee

x

Drawing from my own experiences as a non-voter and my perspective on political systems, I challenge the common belief that change comes solely from electing the “right” leaders. Instead, I invite you to look within and reclaim your own power, responsibility, and inner peace, no matter what political season we’re in.

I share reflections on compulsory voting, the emotional manipulation of media, and the divide that politics creates in our lives, often pulling us further from our own sense of purpose and peace. Together, we question why we give our personal power away and what it looks like to genuinely take that power back by focusing on inner growth and healing. Featuring thought-provoking quotes and a powerful narrative inspired by Eileen McKusick, this episode is a call to look beyond the political theatre and connect with what really drives us: the courage to be true to ourselves, the compassion to understand others, and the clarity to focus on what we can genuinely control.

Join me as we explore the inner journey that leads to real change—the one that begins in each of us.

To read the written version instead of listening, click here.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠⁠https://truthiverse.com) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

Links

Why Politics Won’t Save Us video with Eileen McKusick’s words and my visuals.

Our conversation goes deep into how these intentional rhythms benefit not just kids but also parents, helping us slow down, find meaning in the daily flow, and build more mindful, peaceful homes. For those curious about how to introduce more ritual and richness into their own parenting journey, Meagan offers practical tips on starting with simple daily practices. Join us for an inspiring conversation about creating a more intentional, balanced family life—even amidst the busyness of modern motherhood.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠⁠https://truthiverse.com⁠⁠) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

Your Guest

For over a decade, Meagan Rose Wilson has helped parents bring more peace, calm and connection into their homes, starting with the routines, rhythms and rituals that nourish them so that they have the stamina and perseverance it takes to meet the needs of their beautiful and unique family.

Meagan says:

Fifteen years ago I found myself immersed in the world of natural parenting when my eldest child and I attended a local Waldorf parent-and-child group. So much of what I learned there, and in my subsequent Waldorf Early Childhood teacher training resonated deeply with our family values. I saw a clear picture of the home I wanted to create for our family.

And yet, I found very little practical guidance on how to balance and fairly delegate household chores, how to parent different ages and stages, manage busy schedules and keep up with laundry, meal planning, shopping, cooking and cleaning.

Within six years I had four children and came to the realization that if I was going to find any sense of balance, we needed strong family routines, rhythms and rituals. As we came closer and closer to a sense of ease and flow it became clear that our systems nurtured me as well as my family. They were a form of self-care and self-regulation. The more thought-out and conscious I am about how we spend our time, the more intentional I can be about making space for my own.

Like all families, we have experienced moments of grief and change, stress and busyness, but it is the rhythms, routines and rituals we have created and implemented that hold and carry us through every season.

I support parents to craft and execute effective, personalized and nurturing family systems in their homes.

I believe strongly that our unique family values should and can inform our daily routines, rhythms and rituals, and that living authentically aligned with these values models them for our children.

You can find links to Meagan’s work here:

• Substack

• Website

• Store - including the Goldentime Journal, and seasonal courses

• Podcast

And in 10 minutes flat, you’re wondering why you feel dejected, morose, and ugly.

I’ve made myself victim to the scroll hole more times than I can count, even though I know better. As a marketer, I’ve studied the psychology of social networks in depth. I know what they’re doing and why, yet they still lure me in.

Instagram in particular is an interesting beast. I never feel better about myself when I leave the app than when I opened it. Why is that? Well, that’s what this post is about.

Instagram is what Joe Federer dubs a “Superego Network”, which means it’s a place where:

we’re usually identifiable as our offline selves, have some connection to some of the people we know offline, and simultaneously have the potential to reach an entire network of people we don’t yet know. (emphasis added)

And it’s the bolded part of the sentence above that makes it the place I loathe to be.

Instagram splits us into two people: our offline self and a representation of ourselves. These may be so different from one another that we dread meeting a “follower” in real life because we’ll be found out. The platform changes how we show up—and not in a wholesome way.

Whether we know it or not, we create a profile on Instagram to create a visual, “Superego” identity that shares a representation with the world of who we want to be (not who we truly are).

We can tend to become more proud of or attached to the representation of self we’ve curated on Instagram than the awkward warts-and-all personality we have in the unscripted mess of real life.

We’re not intentionally lying about who we are. But through Instagram, we curate images and snippets that falsely represent our true reality. Our whole life is a vast tapestry of ups and downs, yet the highlight reel we project to our followers conveniently omits that fact.

We show positive moments, idealistic beliefs, motivational quotes, and moments in an attempt to elevate our social standing.

As a non-digital-native who got her first computer at age 24 and started out on an “Ego Network” (Facebook), where my online friends all knew me in real life, I have the context to understand that Instagram represents something far from reality.

I know that the fit, beautiful mothers in floral dresses who work out 3 times a day, homestead, cook all their meals, and perfectly parent their children every minute of every day are a lie. They’re part of an echo chamber that result from “interactions among people’s representations of themselves.” I know this isn’t a true image of the real world. And yet this still affects my confidence and self-worth (when I participate in the ‘Gram game in my weak moments).

But what about younger kids? Those who have only known Instagram? What is the effect on young girls, whose first foray into social media involves creating a perfect representation of themselves and putting this out into the world? A representation based off pop culture, celebrities, and overt sexuality? A representation whose measure of success is based on popularity, “follower count” and likes?

If I am affected by Instagram negatively in just 10 minutes use, I dread to think of the effect on kids with unrestricted usage and whose brains aren’t developed enough to understand what these apps represent.

Instagram has us curating ourselves to the perfect ideal of who we want to become. Social standing is the name of the game. Credibility is determined by “follower count”, popularity, post engagements, trends, views, and how influential our networks are.

In places like Facebook, there’s a mutual relationship. You’re my friend and I’m yours. If I embellish the truth to my network made up of mainly offline friends, they’ll lovingly roast me and bring me back to reality.

But when the relationship is one-sided—where anyone can follow me and I have no obligation to follow you—and a majority of others only know my projected “ideal self”, I can embellish away without consequence.

…in Superego space, we owe it to our followers to represent ourselves in ways that are compelling and interesting, even if that means embellishing at times.

On Instagram, no one needs to know about your vulnerabilities, anxieties, or challenges. Just snap a pic or 5 second video that makes you look good to those you want to impress.

What do you notice about Instagram?

The posts and videos are aesthetically pleasing, filters gleefully plump and sculpt our faces to erase the wrinkles, freckles, and stories that make us, us.

Even though I don’t use these filters, seeing others use them fuels my not-enough-ness. They have me compare my skin to other people's skin. Compare my life to other people's lives. But it’s probably not even real. How do we know any more whether a video we’re watching is real?

And our profiles only show a portion of what we’re experiencing. They're a highly curated snapshot. And viewing them has us feel like we should be something else.

What’s interesting is:

What does this tell us?

Well, it tells me that mediocre isn’t good enough. And also that humans enjoy seeing the potential of what we could become. But I question whether watching ludicrously fit influencers on Instagram encourages us to become that or whether it’s more likely to negatively affect our mindset, worth, and confidence. Because that's how I feel when I'm using Instagram. Perhaps you’ve felt the same.

The duck faces, the pouting, the perfect clothes and houses. I feel like because some people do that, others feel like they need to do it as well. Falsity breeds hyper-falsity. And curation breeds hyper-curation. When does it end?

And even though I know that I don't have to do that, I sometimes feel lesser than if I don't.

It’s hard to be more of what I am when I perceive that will never be good enough.

Yes, I want to build a homestead and live on the land. That's a big goal of mine and many of my friends. Some people have made this their reality and share their journeys with us on Instagram. A great example of people sharing this is inside what’s dubbed the “trad wife” movement.

Hannah, the woman behind one Instagram account, Ballerina Farm, has 10 million followers. Her account is a projection of perfection. This isn’t to demonise her, she's (possibly) just living her life authentically. But I’d venture to say I’m not the only woman who’s experienced her posts as highlighting what I don't have in my life. And has had me, at times, living in another woman’s world instead of being okay with what I do have. Which is a lot. And I’m very happy.

In some ways, I love following this woman because it's great to see that she's been able to create such perfection in her life (or has she?).

In other ways, it feeds my not-enough-ness. She's baking and cooking from scratch all the time. She shares recipes which have me think to myself, “Oh, I should be cooking more, I should have more food on hand, I should be milking a cow outside. If I buy my food from the shop, maybe I'm lesser than.”

It’s important to say here that she's not telling me that. These are the stories that I make up in my own head as a result of her sharing her life. It’s not her responsibility to protect me. I know that.

And, at the same time, she's wearing a floral dress and an apron, her hair is done, and she’s got makeup on, which makes me want to do that too. But I look down and I've got hubby’s old woollen socks on which are covered in rogue hair, my 3 year old nursing bra is hanging out of my dress which is too long because I haven't had it altered yet, I haven't put any makeup on today because I haven't had a chance, and I haven’t washed my hair for five days (or had it cut in six months).

And so, I see her and I think all these things. That's not her intention. It's my story that I'm in charge of. It's in my head. But I question whether this is valuable for me or not.

I see her house. It's the perfect homestead. She's got eight children who she seems to birth and parent effortlessly. Her kids help in the kitchen. Her house is clean. She's got all the gadgets that one might want. She has beautiful land and animals, and a husband that loves her, and she represents what my idea of perfect may be.

She makes motherhood look elementary. And that's triggering because sometimes I find it exceedingly hard.

She's not doing it intentionally, but this is the kind of environment that Instagram creates. It's a representation, not reality. But because we see people like this who have just birthed their eighth baby at home, and are now milking the cows, and seemingly cooking a hundred meals a day in a perfectly clean kitchen with a $30,000 stove, that we think we have to do that too. And also that there’s something wrong with us if we’re not.

I'm not having a dig at Hannah because I love that she's created this life. This is all about me.

Thankfully on Instagram, there are other women who are counterbalancing this. There’s definitely not enough of them in my feed for it to curb the perfectionism, but I want to see more of them!

I wonder if it’s a great use of my time comparing my life to others. Actually, I know it’s not. Because for every second I’m comparing my life to someone else’s I could be living my own wholeheartedly.

When I’m stuck in comparison, I’m focused on the gap in my life, rather than the gain (here’s a great book on this topic). What use is there being focused on what I don't have and highlighting the triggers that I have? (I’m all in for highlighting my own triggers in other areas. This one, I don’t feel is so useful.)

I mean, Hannah was a professional ballerina. She's got eight kids. She's got a farm. She was Mrs. American 23. Yes! She's also a bloody beauty queen. It's like, fuck, how “perfect” can we get?

To reiterate, it's not about her as a human. It's about the archetype of this perfect woman that is projected for us to be. So much so that there are now many other iterations of this archetype on Instagram. Like Gretchy.

In her account, Gretchy Adler talks about nourishing the family with real, whole, unprocessed foods, and raising healthy children. She's another (likely) triggering representation of what a mother’s “supposed” to be.

She represents the “perfect mother”. But what I feel I’d like to see more of is a wider representation of the “good enough mother”.

The phrase "good enough mother" was first coined in 1953 by Donald Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst. Winnicott observed thousands of babies and their mothers, and he came to realize that babies and children actually benefit when their mothers fail them in manageable ways. (I'm not talking about major failures, such as child abuse and neglect, of course.)

Source

Winnicott's believed “that the way to be a good mother is to be a good enough mother. Children need their mother (or primary caretaker) to fail them in tolerable ways on a regular basis so they can learn to live in an imperfect world.”

One of the most refreshing parts of the “good enough mother” is that she’s all that we can be. Perfection isn’t an option.

it's just not possible to meet every single one of our child's needs, whether it's another bowl of macaroni and cheese, a desire to cover the wall with marker, or a wish to stay up all night watching Dora episodes.

It’s music to my ears (and hopefully yours) that “even if it were somehow possible to be the perfect mother, the end result would be a delicate, fragile child who couldn't tolerate even the slightest disappointment. No mother wants that for her child.”

Despite what your or my brain may tell us, these women on Instagram are definitely not perfect mothers. No one is.

So I fully support anyone who is “normalising the normal,” as Beth Grace Casaurang says on her Instagram account.

She's in her “stay at home mom era” and talks about how normal it is to live in a non aesthetic home, wear normal clothes, have newly greying hair, and a botox-free face.

What’s interesting is that this is a tiny corner of the internet, with Beth having a list of 75,000 followers, compared to a whopping 10 million for Hannah. The proof is in the pudding that people spend time on Instagram as voyeurs; to follow the superego version of the ideal self.

Which means, if you want to succeed on Instagram, especially as a business owner, it means you need to play the fame game. Ham it up. “Influence” people.

And that’s just not me. That’s not what I want. And also why I don’t feel good when I spend time there.

When I follow women who create a representation of the “perfect mother”, I’m equal parts inspired and dismayed. And others are too.

Their posts can be received as both, “Wow, mum goals! This is good info and resources, maybe I'll prioritise this more.”

And also, “Oh, eff off, you’re shaming me because it's not realistic for me to be able to do that.”

As usual, the middle is really where it's at. The balanced, healthy viewpoint is, “Yeah, we'd all love to be able to do that. And there are certain circumstances that allow us or don't allow us to live like that. And that’s ok. It doesn’t mean anything about my worth as a human or mother.”

There are so many circumstances in each individual mother’s life that allow or prevent her to be this this way—despite perhaps wanting to. It's not black and white. It's oodles of grey.

Sure, I would love to spend much of my time cooking in the kitchen because I really enjoy it. I love cooking for my husband and my daughter. I get such a thrill out of cooking and seeing my family enjoy the food I make. It’s one of my most favourite feelings.

At the same time, I often feel like I'm not doing enough of it. And I question whether that's coming from me internally or whether it's coming from me following women who bring out those emotions for me. I think it’s both.

Instagram amplifies the wounds and insecurities I already have and spits them back out at me via cute photos and perfect videos from women who push all my buttons.

The crux of it is this: I don't feel like Instagram is a healthy place for me.

It doesn’t nourish me.

Instagram prioritises polarising content as it fuels discussion, which then has people spending more time on the platform, which then allows Instagram to make more money through advertising. It’s all part of the game plan.

The more content we consume or comment on, the more the algorithm decides, “okay, well, you're interested in that. I'm going to give you more of that.” And so we find ourselves in a torturous echo chamber where we enjoy part of what we’re seeing, but also start to feel more and more less than as time passes.

As these stories get richer and more reinforced inside our mind, we start believing certain things that aren't really true.

I haven’t even mentioned the ads on Instagram yet.

They’re incredible at triggering the part of me that wants to be and do more.

It's like, yes, I want to work out more. What mother doesn’t want to work out and feel better about herself?

Then there's a collagen face mask that’s in my feed constantly. And it’s particularly tempting to purchase it on days where I notice the deep concentration lines between my eyes showing.

And then, I see the Natural Face Bible lady, who just happens to look 20, but she’s 50. And she tells me, “you can do it the natural way”. Just cover your face with tape at night or buy this fucking Japanese seaweed shit to put on your face and then you won't look like an old hag like you do now (I’m pretty sure they were her exact words…). 🫠

And then I see women selling body suits, snatching their waist in and I start to wonder if I should do that because I feel a little bit insecure about how round my once-flat tummy is since I birthed my baby.

Throw on top of all that an ad for Wrinkles Schminkles, a silicon contraption I can stick on my face while I'm sleeping to turn back the pesky clock.

It’s a constant stream of not-enoughness.

An endless trap on that app. And I ask myself, how does being there help me? How is it bettering my life?

Well, of course it IS helping me become highly aware of the reasons why I'm triggered by these ads or products. It highlights my lack of self-worth and self-compassion. And also brings to the surface many emotions I might otherwise have buried beneath.

The power of this app astounds me. I don't even spend much time on Instagram. I always set a 10 minute timer if I open the app. Many times, I'll leave before that time is even up because there's no substance for me there.

But why do I continue to return to it? Am I some kind of masochist?

No, I’m just a human, a mother, and an online business mentor who was told she “needs” a presence on Instagram to grow her brand.

But, I’m also a rebel. Which is why I’m seriously considering deleting my presence on other social platforms now I’ve found that Substack provides the depth, substance and community I’ve sought for so long.

Immediately when I arrived here, I discovered it is filled with people like me who have had enough with all the bullshit, the constant selling, the inauthenticity, and the superego selves.

With Substack, I can go deep in 10 minutes on an article about something I'm interested in. I can learn something. I can connect with other humans with the same interests as me on an authentic level. It's not a projection. And it’s not a waste of my time.

It's creativity. And collaboration. There’s a depth and substance that is severely lacking on all of the other social media platforms.

I thought there was something wrong with me. Like, why do I feel so invisible? Why don't people understand me?

And the answer is, they do, you were just in the wrong place.

Substack is my new playground. It’s where people pour their hearts out and write for the sake of writing, not to please the algorithm or to sell something.

It feels like home. It's wholesome. And this is where I want to spend my time. With people who have the same values as me, who share their heart and what's going on for them truthfully from the depth of their being.

Now, if you’re reading this, I’m talking to you! You’re my kind of person and the reason I feel so grateful to be here. Substack is just about being you. And in a world of superficiality, that feels so refreshing.

If I am to become the best version of me—which is the ultimate driving force of my life—then why would I keep doing something that doesn’t align with my goal?

Time to adjust the sails and keep moving forward. ⛵️

With love,

Aimee

x

References

Blockquotes in this article are taken from The Hidden Psychology of Social Networks by Joe Federer

Also referenced, this article about the Good Enough Mother.

Instagram encourages this ‘superego’ version of ourselves—a version that’s flawlessly styled, always patient, endlessly creative. It’s the kind of idealised mothering we see in popular accounts like Ballerina Farm. But the more I look, the more I see how these pristine portrayals distort our perception of what it means to be a “good” mother. It leaves so many of us, myself included, feeling that whatever we’re doing isn’t enough.

In contrast to this, I’ve been exploring the concept of the ‘good enough mother,’ an idea introduced by psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, which celebrates the resilience and strength that emerge through imperfect parenting. This real-life mother doesn’t need to be flawless to foster a strong, connected family—she just needs to be present and engaged. So, what happens when this ‘good enough’ reality is placed next to Instagram’s relentless highlight reel? Does it make us doubt ourselves, or could it help us reclaim our stories?

I’m diving into the ways Instagram can warp our sense of self, especially as women and mothers, and what I’ve discovered about the balance between sharing authentically and simply living our lives, flaws and all. Join me as I unpack my own experience with this struggle and share insights on how we might untangle our self-worth from social media. Together, let’s take a closer look at why the real, unfiltered moments might just be the ones that make us truly enough.

If you’d prefer to read this post, you can do so here. (Written posts are published and emailed to subscribers at 2pm Mexico City time on Wednesdays.)

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠https://truthiverse.com), mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

The pendulum has swung greatly from the expectation we should send our kids to school to the expectation that if we’re “alternative”, we should be homeschooling, worldschooling, or even, perhaps, radically unschooling our children.

John Taylor Gatto, a staunch critic of compulsory schooling, former New York State Teacher of the Year, and author of Dumbing Us Down, gets us thinking twice about the conventional route when he says:

Is there an idea more radical in the history of the human race than turning your children over to total strangers whom you know nothing about, and having those strangers work on your child's mind, out of your sight, for a period of twelve years? Could there be a more radical idea than that?

—John Taylor Gatto

So does Dayna Martin, creator of Radical Unschooling, who says, “We were raised in an era where the parental role was focused on obedience and control. As children, we were trained to believe that life is about taking orders, which in essence only met the needs of the adults in our lives…Unschooling has a foundation of trust in children that is virtually unheard of in our culture because most of us were never trusted as children ourselves.”

In an era of reform, rebellion, and outright madness, why not keep our kids home from the dangers of school and let them grow alongside us at home? It sounds like a legitimately beautiful idea for most.

But there’s more to the conversation. And even a man as outspoken as John Taylor Gatto thought. When travelling the USA as a public speaker on school reform, Gatto learned “a revelation..of what might be possible”.

Childhood education is an art.

If you attended public or private school, you wouldn’t know that. You were probably raised to be an obedient slave destined for the work force, and taught that the main tenet of life was choosing a vocation you’d be tied to for the rest of your life. And you felt the immense burden of choosing wisely.

But there’s a middle ground between letting the State raise your child and letting your child raise themselves and I feel the call to speak loudly about this because neither option I mentioned is preferable. They’re unfavourable extremes of a spectrum.

Children are our future and raising them wholly requires knowing what’s available for us to do that.

Educating a child wholly—on all levels of their being—requires immense will, feeling, thinking, dedication, and intention.

And as a mother who is also a businesswoman, wife, friend, daughter, cook, and all of the other roles that come with being a mother, it’s impossible for me to place the intention my daughter deserves on being her educator too.

Despite being someone who is dedicated to health, self-reflection, personal growth, and self-development, I’m not the right person for the job. And I’m not afraid to say that. I love my daughter, I’m an incredible mother, and I simply can’t provide the rhythm and reverence my daughter needs to thrive.

This is why she attends a small, community Waldorf school where the continuous self-development of the adult forms the basis of kindergarten life.

Worthy of Imitation

If you’ve heard of Rudolf Steiner and his educational approach known as Steiner Waldorf education (or perhaps either Steiner or Waldorf in your country), you may have heard that the first seven years of life are known as the “Stage of Imitation”.

What does he or she imitate? Everything. If you have a child, you know this. You’ve probably noticed most strikingly when you let an F bomb drop and it drips out of your child’s mouth a few days later laced with joy and innocence in front of a stranger.

Or when you slip up as your anger rises one day and offer a loud NO, which later comes to bite you in the arse via a tiny mimic.

Every action, sight, sound, emotion, or other sense impression is absorbed into the child’s inner being. (Gulp, yes. That says EVERY.)

All parents know how capable children are of imitation. Thus, if we are to educate them, we must be “worthy of imitation”. We must set the example we want our children to follow.

Now, if like me, you want your child to grow modelling and valuing love, respect, curiosity, dignity, wonder, and warmth, they need to imitate that from a worthy example. Homeschoolers are right in that the public schooling system does not offer that opportunity.

But am I worthy of imitation at all hours of the day? I do model these values at home, but I don’t provide an environment I deem intentional enough for my child to be immersed in all day every day. There are examples who are more worthy of imitation than I am, for reasons to follow.

Though I live my life constantly striving to be “worthy of imitation”, I am also a wife and online business owner. The typical “entrepreneur” is not worthy of imitation—just think about the time I spend in front of the computer. That is not something to be modelled. It’s not even something a small child can understand.

Homeschooling requires us to ask ourselves, am I worthy of imitation?

When we consider that “everything that is done in their [a child’s’] presence is transformed in their childish organism into spirit, soul, and body,” if we are homeschooling, we must ask ourselves, is my home the right environment? Does it nourish my child’s senses? Am I, as their guide, worthy of imitation?

Now, if you’re feeling pressure, guilt, or dismay reading those words and wanting to shout at me for not understanding how challenging modern parenthood can be, hold up, we’re on the same team. I want you to crush it too. But, are the pressures of modern society too great to be able to be everything to everyone, including teacher to our children?

If you’re thinking, “nice one, Aimee”. Sure, I’m ‘worthy of imitation’ all the time while I’m relentlessly clothing, feeding, guiding, and educating my child” (sarcasm here), then we’re on the same page.

I’m gonna be bold and honest here and say that I believe it’s impossible for you as a parent to be, do, or embody all those things. Which is why I’m writing this. You don’t have to be.

I know I can’t spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week being that for my daughter. I deny that reality. I don’t want to be all those things to my daughter.

How am I singlehandedly supposed to plan the day to include purposeful activities and play that follow a rhythm (including the in and the out breath), song and rhyme, movement, nap or rest time, nourishing food, and outdoor adventures, all of which are an example and that my child can imitate, whilst being thoughtful, warm, and deliberate with my gestures and speech, remaining calm and present, whilst also running a home and business? 🫠 

This is what is being asked of me if I was to homeschool. And if I did this, I wouldn’t survive. 😂 

As I’ve shared previously, my plate is already overflowing and my cup is pretty empty. If you want me to add the role of educator on top of that pile, something's gotta give.

Thankfully, this is the role of the Waldorf Kindergarten teacher. According to Steiner, this is the constructive way for children to learn. And I believe this wholeheartedly.

The best way to teach young children is to do.

To show them.

To be the example.

To provide a deliberate and intentional example worthy of imitation.

It’s not a role to be taken lightly.

Striving to be models worthy of imitation (with renewed resolve rather than guilt) is the hardest and the most valuable work of parents, and it has the most benefit for our children. To help frazzled parents replenish their energy, Steiner suggests: sleep, meditation, and artistic activity.

—Rahima Baldwin Dancy

Now, as “alternative” or unconventional parents who are likely already committed to a path of personal growth and inner development, what better question to keep us on track than, “Am I worthy of imitation?”

As Chinyelu Kunz says, “every moment of every day our children are watching us and imitating what we do, what we say, as well as how we show up for them.” Adults are the environment, “the weather, so to speak and the child experiences all of it. Young children cannot help but to take it all in because they are like sponges.”

At her school, my daughter spends her time immersed in a mindfully created environment that engages her imagination and nurtures her senses, without overstimulating her. Each morning she is ecstatic to go to school, eager to imitate, and thrives from spending her time there.

I’m not sure I could say the same if I were her teacher.

Reverence

Receive the child in Reverence

Educate them in Love

Let them go forth in Freedom

—Rudolf Steiner

When my daughter enters her school, she is received in reverence. She is welcomed warmly and seen for all her unique human qualities, and spends her day in a highly curated environment. It’s not just another part of her day at home with mum and dad.

How am I, as my daughter’s mother supposed to receive my child with reverence each morning after I have spent the night co-sleeping, breastfeeding, or waking up with either a request for snacks or a dreamtime kick in the face?

Let's take last night for instance.

We had a beautiful weekend with friends and got home later than normal. We had our shower and a little snack before bed. I thought she’d sleep beautifully after having spent the entire weekend running around like a 3 year old does. Yet to my dismay, she was on my boob feeding for almost the entire night.

I thought those nights would be over a long time ago, but here we are. And I'm thinking, why does she want so much boobie tonight? But my consciousness is still half inhabiting the land of dreams, my frontal lobe is off the planet. So it took me a long time to realise, holy shit, she's hungry!

I then go downstairs at around 3am to peel an apple, get some dates, chop it all up, and bring it upstairs. And then at 3am we're having a picnic on the bed with each other. This is a time I'll look back on fondly and laugh at, but at the time it's like, okay, my eyes are bleeding and now I’m my child’s middle of the night snack bitch.

I've barely slept. I've had a child on me for the entire night, sucking at my boob while I lay on my side twisted like a pretzel.

When I wake up I'm thirsty AF and then I have to go about the day. Choosing clothes, making breakfast, singing songs, making craft, and doing ballet before she heads off to school.

If I was homeschooling her, there would be no opportunity for a break. There would have been no ability for me to receive her in reverence because it's just never ending. My mama friends all agree—mum life never ends. If we add homeschooling on top of that, what gives?

Is it intentional parenting?

Education?

Self-reflection?

Food preparation?

Extracurricular activities?

Self care?

Our relationship?

Something has to give because it's just too much load.

If I were homeschooling, to adapt, perhaps I’d expect my child to fit into the rhythm of my day, lug them around the shops with me, put a movie on while I work, or buy some “homeschooling curriculum” books and ask my kids to fill them out while I cook.

None of these activities allow me to be “worthy of imitation”.

When sleeping, breastfeeding, feeding, nurturing, loving, and guiding a child, I question if it’s useful to add “educator” to that list. And the answer I’m lead to is that it's just too much.

I recognise that it's just not possible, viable, or useful for me to do that. So I partner with a collection of people who are trained to do that. People whom are worthy of imitation, who lead by example, who teach her new songs each week that change as the seasons do. Who cook healthy lunch and clean up together. Who lead with positive direction, encourage reverence for the Earth, strengthen her will, inspire play, take her on adventures in nature, tell her magical stories by heart that ignite her imagination, and help her rest and fall into a rhythm.

If I'm to do all of these things for my child every day, plus all the other things that I'm supposed to do, something has to give—and because of my dedication to mother my child with love and intention, what gives will likely be me.

Mums pouring from empty cups

There is a lot of pressure on the “crunchy mum”.

She has to make food from scratch, wear floral dresses, milk her cows, speak with love and grace, service her husband, and free-birth her children, all while sharing it on Instagram.

The burden is real. We’re not just mothering for our family any more; we’re mothering for the internet too. The social media highlight reel gives us expectations which are often crushed when we try and do it all.

Even without homeschooling my daughter, I still don't have enough time and energy in the day to show up and do all the things I need to do.

As I’ve previously shared, the notion of self care is kryptonite for me, because I chose to drop that to the bottom of the Aimee pile and I’m fighting to get it back. It wasn’t intentional, I loved having a fit body, styled hair, and smooth legs. But when I compare those things to showing up for my daughter, and when I have a limited amount of hours to squeeze it all in, it all fell by the wayside.

When I see mothers who still workout, I wonder, what was it that they let go? I believe every modern mother has to make that choice. Anyone who tells you otherwise has the support network we all dream of.

Some women let their body go.

Some let their nutrition go.

Some let their intimacy with their husband go.

Some let the screen parent for them.

It’s just what’s required of the modern mother. It's challenging to fit all of those things into our daily rhythm.

Add to that the need to guide our children with love and transition them into a new activity, when all we want to do is take a nap or time out…

It’s a big load.

It's impossible to be everything to everyone all the time. (That’s a sentence I need on repeat in my mind). And when we put that load on ourselves, we can't be the best that we need to be. I simply cannot be all of those things all at once.

If I’m trying to do it all, I can't be the best version of me for myself, for my child, for my husband, and for my friends. I know from experience that if I try and carry the full load myself, I’m gonna just fall over need to take the break.

And if I was homeschooling my children, this would mean they wouldn’t have anyone guiding or leading them, resulting in them “acting out” because they don’t know what they’re supposed to be doing.

When they “act out” they're calling out for leadership, something to imitate. They—especially children from the ages of zero to seven—need an example to follow. So if we’re overloaded and need to take a break, our children are like, “Oh, what do I do now?” The next minute they're running around like maniacs, fighting, shouting, or hitting each other. And it's because they don’t have any leadership.

Being everything to everyone, just doesn't work—in my view and in my own personal experience.

So this is why I don't homeschool.

I'm sure in some perfect world out there, there is a mother who is able to do all of those things for her children, but I'm honest and real—and that mother isn't me.

So in this era of my life, I choose to educate my daughter via Waldorf education.

She loves it. I love it. And it allows me to hand back that archetype that I didn't ask for and that I held onto for so long, which is the archetype of the Martyr. So many mothers have become martyrs because of what is expected of us in modern motherhood.

And although I choose tools from different boxes and may be labeled in many different ways through the choices that I make, I'm forging my own path ahead and choosing the tools that work for me, despite convention, despite the guilt that is handed down to us, and despite what we are “supposed to be”.

I'm creating traditions and experiences for myself and my family that suit us first and foremost. For us, that means not homeschooling in this era of our life.

I'm so curious whether you homeschool, send your children to public school or alternative education, what your experience has been of carrying the load, and whether you do feel it's possible for us mothers to carry it all.

I'm also curious about what you habitually let slide in your life because I believe that every mother has to let something slide. It's really easy to get caught up thinking that other mothers on Instagram or Facebook or other areas of the internet have it all figured out. They don't. Nobody does.

Let's just be real and support one another to live our own paths and to build a world for our children that allows them to be as whole as they can be.

With love,

Aimee

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The conscious parenting community often urge mums like me to go down the homeschooling, worldschooling, or unschooling path, but I share why that’s not the best choice for my family. Balancing my roles as a mother, business owner, and partner has led me to some hard-earned truths about my limits, and I’ve come to understand that I can’t, and don’t need to, do it all.

Drawing from the insights of influential thinkers like John Taylor Gatto and Rudolf Steiner, I dig into the spectrum of educational choices available to us and explore why a middle ground exists between traditional schooling and raising our kids entirely on our own terms. I reflect on how Gatto’s critique of modern schooling and Steiner’s vision for nurturing a child’s unique gifts have impacted my outlook on education, influencing my decision to embrace the education path I have. A choice that provides rhythm, reverence, and values that resonate with me—while allowing me to step back and breathe.

As we navigate the complexities of parenting, the expectations to be all things to our children can feel overwhelming. Through my own journey, I’ve learned that sharing the role of teacher with trusted, like-minded educators has brought balance and joy to our lives, nurturing my daughter in ways I would struggle to sustain alone. Join me as I reflect on the concept of being “worthy of imitation,” the importance of intentionality, and the unexpected liberation that comes with acknowledging my own boundaries. I hope this episode offers reassurance to any parent wondering if they can, or even should, take on everything.

If you prefer to read this episode, you can do so here.

Warning: This podcast is not a highlight reel. (And I think that's a refreshing thing in a world of superficiality and false pretences.)

Go behind the scenes of my life as I build an online business, raise a family with intention, live abroad in a new country, and unpack trauma, programming, and reparent myself openly in the public realm.

In every episode, you’ll get insights into the depth of what it really takes to build a business, whilst being a present mama, living a life outside the box, and doing the work it takes to be who we’re meant to be.

My Mama Summer is my journey to becoming whole.

You can get the written version of this podcast in your inbox each Wednesday at ⁠⁠mymamasummer.com⁠⁠ and subscribe to the audio on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

Your Host

Aimee Q Devlin is an Australian writer, online business owner, and mother currently living in Mexico, committed to personal growth and evolution, and uncovering how slow motherhood looks in a fast-paced world.

Aimee is the co-founder of the Online Freedom Hackers community where she and her husband Brendan Murphy (⁠⁠https://truthiverse.com⁠⁠) mentor unconventional parents to build freedom-based businesses that buy back their fun, family, and freedom in 5-10 hours a week. Get started here: ⁠⁠https://links.onlinefreedomhackers.com/mymamasummer

The last month has been so much for me! It's been a rollercoaster of emotion. I've experienced grief, elation, doubt, bliss, certainty, connection, deep conversations, amazing food. You name it, I've experienced it.

I feel ecstatic that we made the move to San Miguel.

Let's face it, it was a lot to make the move. We were very embedded in our community and the town we were in. We had the most beautiful support and assistance via our nanny. That's why it took us so long to leave, despite knowing for years that village wasn't for us.

I shared in a previous episode, Retirement Vibes to Family Thrives, the reasons why we were making the move and what we anticipated would improve in our life as a result of making the move.

This is my update to share with you what has happened over the last month so you can see what’s unfolded for us.

One of the things we were searching for was to be connected with friends. To meet other people of similar values and in a similar stage of life, i. e. raising young children, and to connect with them in a deeper way. We had some incredible friends in our town. And at the same time, they weren't in the same phase of life as us.

In and of itself, that's not a prerequisite for being friends with someone, but it was a gap that we had in our life and something that we really felt we needed more of.

On the friends front, as I shared previously in my episode, When Making Adult Friendships Feels Like Dating, I have met so many beautiful people since we arrived.

There's been a marked difference in the way that that’s happened, for instance, meeting people at the farmer's market, supermarket, school, playground or Parroquia has really flowed for us.

And it's been so wonderful to have conversations with other parents, where we can laugh about how challenging it can be to raise young children—the lack of sleep, strong will, and all of the things that come with parenting a toddler.

It's vitally important to be able to share that with people, instead of pretending everything's rosy all the time and sweeping our challenges under the carpet.

I mentioned our nanny earlier. She was such an integral part of our life and there is a big hole still there that we haven't fulfilled—and I don't think we will ever fill. (I'm still secretly hoping she'll come live with us here!)

I'm sure at some point we will meet someone able to help support us to parent our child and give us a little break at times because I feel like that is such an important thing for parents, otherwise we lose ourselves and our connection with our significant other.

But I've definitely experienced some version of grief since we arrived. Not that I'm not experiencing joy and elation because I've shared that I am experiencing those things, but at the same time, there's a paradox. We have to grieve the life that we left as well as revel in the joy of the new life we've created.

The day we left was intensely emotional.

I stalled so many times, hugging our nanny, and I didn't want to get in the taxi to leave her because it was so big for me. I felt so much guilt for taking my daughter away from her because they are best friends.

It's truly the most beautiful thing to have another woman you can rely on to be a second mum to help you parent your children. I've had that support since she was 11 months old. To not have that now is a big change. I spent the entire ride to the bus station in tears.

I'm currently learning how to be the “only” mum. I dearly miss my “backup” mum. Her loss means my life is currently very full in a beautiful way.

I'm spending so much quality time with my daughter.

I'm working much less. I've condensed my working hours into about three to four hours a day, and the rest of my time is spent exploring a new city with my daughter. We've gone on so many beautiful adventures. There are so many things to do with her here. There are playgrounds, parks, and other families to spend time with. There’s delicious food and beautiful cafés.

It's night and day compared to where we came from. So I feel like I'm thriving in that aspect. I'm so grateful for the adventures I can go on with my daughter. Even just going to the grocery store to pick up organic groceries is a delight for me because I didn't have that possibility before.

I'm able to spend a few hours exploring with my daughter having beautiful conversations, singing songs and doing craft together and I am fully aware as I'm living it that these are the Golden Years of her childhood.

I feel incredibly blessed to be spending these moments with her and I'm squeezing every millisecond of joy out of them.

We're also meeting other people in other networks with kids of other ages. This is something that is so important for families and has been my dream for so long and it's finally here.

The quality of food that we’re able to access in this city is mind blowing in comparison to what we had. It's almost on par with what we had in Byron Bay in Australia. We have a lot of local, organic food and a high level of regenerative, sustainablly-oriented foods including meat and raw dairy.

That was a huge part of why we moved here. I’ve cooked almost every meal. I think we've ordered Uber Eats twice since we arrived, whereas we were averaging four to five nights of takeout a week because I had no energy left to cook.

I had no inspiration. I had no place to go to be inspired. The way I like to cook is by walking around the supermarket and finding an ingredient that inspires me and making a meal based on that.

So far, we've had so many beautiful meals. We’ve friends over for dinner and I've cooked for them. We've been over other friends houses, and they've cooked for us.

It's this beautiful reciprocity.

While we're on the topic of food, we’ve also eaten out a lot with entrepreneurial friends, spiritual friends, and parents from the school, and every single restaurant we've been to has had insanely delicious food.

We haven’t had a bad meal yet. And I say that not to jinx myself, but to inspire you with the quality of food that's available here in San Miguel. There's a real focus, not only in the groceries, but in the restaurants too, of connecting with local farms and suppliers that really care about where they get their food from. And that really aligns with my values and is incredibly important for my family.

Inspiration is one of the words that I would say I've experienced a lot since moving. Not only by the food and the people I'm meeting, but also by the city itself. The streets are so beautiful. Our neighbourhood is full of beautiful old trees, there's an incredible park nearby, and I've averaged an insanely more amount of steps each day because I feel like walking. Whereas I used to feel so contracted around that.

We don't have a car. We use Uber or taxis or rides with friends. In many ways, I love that because I feel more elevated and relaxed. If I'm driving around all the time and having to be the driver or my car's dirty, I'm not as relaxed as I am when I'm able to just order an Uber that's four minutes away, hop in the back and somebody drives me where I want to go. I really love that.

At some point, we will likely want to get a car and explore more widely. There are some beautiful cities nearby we could go to, we're in a beautiful place in central Mexico where we now have the ability to do that. It's beautiful to be able to access some of the things we’ve felt starved of in the years we've been here in Mexico.

All in all, I feel like I'm coming back to myself. I'm not contracted. I feel excited at the possibilities that lie in front of me each day. And this is one of the biggest reasons why we decided to make this move.

I've got my mojo back. I'm cooking food at home. I'm sitting on the rooftop watching the sunset and the fireworks, making tea for myself, and lazing on the sofa. These are things that I haven't done for years.

I just feel in flow. Looking back, I feel that in our previous town, we kept getting reamed in many ways. Since we've moved, we have experienced a level of what I can only describe as flow, everywhere we look.

There's been so many “random” occurrences that have all been confirmation this was the right move for us. I'm so grateful we listened to that call.

Yes, it took a long time—three years—to make this move. But we finally did it.

I feel like Brendan and I are masters at this point of leaning into the discomfort that comes with reaching for your dreams.

Throughout the almost 11 years we've been together, we’ve continually pushed ourselves and lent into the discomfort that comes from putting yourself first, asking for more, and recognising you're not on the right path, and perhaps you need to readjust your sails.

I've been doing that since my Saturn Return, when I was about 27, as I shared with you in a recent episode, Rising From The Ashes, which was a reflection of that time where I felt like everything was not right in my life—my relationship, my job, my home, my city—and I had to put it all out on the lawn, say bye bye and welcome in the new.

That period of my life was the first time I started doing that and I've been doing it ever since.

I feel like that's a really good muscle to work; to continually ask yourself, “Am I on the right path?" Am I feeling lit up? Am I feeling inspired? Am I feeling in flow?”

I was regularly not feeling all of those things. And yet I was pushing through. I felt like I had to keep going. And I was doing it to my own detriment.

And yes, I finally listened, took the leap and here we are.

So my guidance for you is, if you're feeling like you're on the wrong path, you're not lit up, you feel chained to work to your own detriment, you feel a lack of connection in your relationships, or you feel like you need more out of life, is to take an audit of your life.

Look at every avenue: your living situation, job, city, relationships, friendships, health, and ask yourself, “Am I on track? Or not?

Ask yourself, what you do want? What would you like more of in your life?

And call that in. Not from an airy fairy, fluffy manifestation perspective where you sit back and do nothing. No. Write down what you want and bring it to life.

You're the leader of your own life. And as someone who has regularly sat back and been a spectator in her own life, I would say don't wait a minute longer, jump in that driver's seat, make the changes you feel are necessary.

Whether that's moving cities, starting a business, quitting your job, or disconnecting from habits or relationships that don't serve you anymore, go for it. Choose more of what you want.

From sunup to sundown, my days are filled with joy and connection, a little bit of work, and a lot of laughter.

And the reason for that is because I was brave enough to say no to a life I didn't want and yes to one that I deserve.

So I'd love to know, are you currently on track? Are you a little bit off kilter? Or are you incredibly off path?

Take this as your sign to do an audit. Ask yourself, “Do I have what I want?”

And if not, be willing to call it in.

Thanks for reading.

As always, please leave me a comment below. I love to hear from you. ✨ 

Aimee

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